À quoi je sers...

"À quoi je sers..." (English: "What good am I...") is a 1989 song recorded by French singer-songwriter Mylène Farmer. The song was a standalone single when it was released in July 1989, as it was previously unavailable on Farmer's albums, apart from a live version on En Concert. Marking the end of Farmer's first period of work, it achieved moderate commercial and popular success back then but is now considered a "Farmer classic".

In May 1989, Farmer began her first tour throughout France, which was a great success. Farmer would probably wrote the lyrics of "À quoi je sers..." during this tour, as she was incredibly surprised by her success on stage and she expressed doubts about the direction of her musical career. The singer and her partner Laurent Boutonnat decided to record this song as new single, with another unpublished song on the B-side, "La Veuve noire", whose music is very similar to that of "À quoi je sers...". Both songs were recorded fairly quickly. However, due to the success of the previous single "Sans logique", "À quoi je sers..." was not released before July 1989. Little broadcast on radio, the song appeared as a synthesis of the singer's work and marked the end of the first period of Farmer's career.

French author Erwan Chuberre said "À quoi je sers..." is "a song with desperate lyrics but a dance rhythm that incorporates one of the favorite phrases of depressive people". The pessimistic song is about madness, the "desire of suicide and the impression of the futility of the life". The theme, as well as the beginning of each verse ("Poussière vivante") and other words in the lyrics ("Chaque heure demande pour qui pour quoi se redresser") were inspired by 1942 book L'Apprentissage de la ville by French writer Luc Dietrich, whose books are known to have a morbid tone. About the writing of the song, Farmer said in an interview: "I wrote "À quoi je sers..." shortly after the beginning of the tour. Because it was the question on my mind. (...). About this : to scream out loud what others will not dare do." According to the biographer Bernard Violet, the song which tackles "a new fantasy, self-destruction", is "filled with a special symbolism describing the passage from life to death" and "illustrates the strange torpor in which the singer seems to take refuge in the real life".

According to some observers, this song could summed up by itself, the entire universe, atmosphere and themes evoked in Farmer's work. The name of the song ends with three suspension points – not a question mark – suggesting "the singer had doubts about her usefulness on Earth". The black and white cover's photograph shows Farmer in her dressing room after one of her concerts at the Palais des Sports (Paris) drying a tear with a handkerchief. As a result, the song could refer to the "loneliness that invades an artist after his exit from the stage".

For the only time in Farmer's career, Laurent Boutonnat directed the video and wrote its screenplay (usually, it is Farmer who composes the latter). It is a Requiem Publishing production which was shot for two days in August 1989 on the Lac de Grand-Lieu (Loire Atlantique, France), with a budget of about 30,000 euros. Moreover, it is the first of Farmer's videos to be in black and white. All characters from Farmer's previous videos appear in "À quoi je sers...", however, as the actors who first performed the roles were not all free for the shooting, the characters are in fact body doubles in this video, except the toreador from "Sans logique". According to some sources, Farmer would have been seasick during the shooting. The actor who plays the boatman is Farmer's guitarist, Slim Pezin. During the shooting of the video, the weather was warm with a morning mist; however, Farmer did not remove her wool coat.

At the beginning of the video, Farmer stands at the side of a pond, with a suitcase in her hand. A man with large dark circles around his eyes appears on a boat through the fog and Farmer climbs aboard, sits down and seems to be very sad and thoughtful. Using a long paddle, the man rows to move the boat among the rushes. After a while, five silhouettes appear, walking on the water (these characters are Rasoukine ["Tristana"], the rival ["Libertine"], the puppeteer ["Sans contrefaçon"], the English captain ["Pourvu qu'elles soient douces"] and the torero ["Sans logique"]). Farmer joins them, while the boat goes away.

According to some analyses, the video is based on the text La Maison des morts, composed by the French poet Guillaume Apollinaire. In this case, the pond would represent the death; it also may be an allegory of the Styx, one of the rivers of Hell in Greek mythology, referring to the Farmer's passage from world of the living to that of the dead. As for the walk of the characters in the pond at the end of the video, it would evoke the idea that everyone is forced to continue his own life with his memories and his anxieties without asking too many questions.

France Soir considered this single as a "miserable response to "On est tous des imbéciles" and "Sans logique"". In contrast, Spot Light qualified this song as "the more beautiful slow song of the year". Graffiti described "À quoi je sers" as "a fluid, slight and fast unforgettable song (...) which will arouse the interest of the crowds". For Jeune et Jolie, it was "one of the most beautiful texts that [Farmer] had ever sang".