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Demisexuality

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Demisexuality

Demisexuality is a term used to describe individuals who rarely experience primary sexual attraction – a type of attraction that is based on immediately observable characteristics such as appearance or smell, and is experienced immediately after first encounter. A demisexual person generally tends to develop sexual attraction after they experience secondary sexual attraction – a type of attraction that occurs after development of an emotional bond. The amount of time that a demisexual individual needs to know another person before developing sexual attraction towards them varies from person to person. Demisexuality is generally categorized on the asexuality spectrum.

The term was coined in the Asexual Visibility and Education Network Forums in February 2006. Based on the theory that allosexuals experience both primary and secondary sexual attraction and asexuals do not experience either, the term demisexual was proposed for people who experience the latter without the former. However, David Jay suggested a similar word in 2003, called semisexual.

Demisexuality, as a component of the asexuality spectrum, is included in queer activist communities such as GLAAD and The Trevor Project. Demisexuality also has finer divisions within itself.

The word gained entry to the Oxford English Dictionary in March 2022, with its earliest usage recorded in 2006 as a noun.

Since 2019, the app Tinder includes demisexual as an option for self-descriptors of sexual orientation on profiles.

Demisexuality is used to describe individuals who feel sexually attracted to someone only after developing a close or strong emotional bond with them. Some demisexuals will also feel romantic attraction, while others do not. The duration of time and the degree of interpersonal knowledge and bonding required for a demisexual person to develop sexual attraction may be highly variable between individuals. There is a lack of clear definitions for what qualifies as a close or strong bond in this context, which can cause confusion.

Unlike other words used to describe sexual orientations, the term "demisexuality" does not indicate which gender or genders a person finds attractive.

After secondary sexual attraction is developed, demisexuals are not only aroused by personality traits. They also may or may not experience arousal or desire based on the physical traits of the persons with whom they have already experienced secondary sexual attraction towards.

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