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Effie Gray
Euphemia Chalmers Millais, Lady Millais (née Gray; 7 May 1828 – 23 December 1897) was a British artists' model and writer who was married to Pre-Raphaelite painter John Everett Millais. She had previously married the art critic John Ruskin, but she left him with the marriage never having been consummated; it was subsequently annulled. This famous Victorian "love triangle" has been dramatised in plays, films, and an opera.
Euphemia Chalmers Gray was born on 7 May 1828 in Perth, Perthshire, Scotland to lawyer and businessman George Gray (1798–1877) and Sophia Margaret (1808–1894), daughter of Andrew Jameson, Sheriff-substitute of Fife. She grew up at Bowerswell, an Italianate-style house near the foot of Kinnoull Hill. Though she was given the pet-name "Phemy" by her parents as a child, she started to be known as "Effie" by the time she was a teenager. Her sisters Sophie and Alice often modelled for John Everett Millais.
Between 1842 and 1844 she attended Avonbank school run by the Misses Byerley near Stratford on Avon, Warwickshire, England, partly as her parents wanted her to lose her Scottish accent. She was an assiduous student at Avonbank winning prizes in every year but was taken out of school to be a support to her mother when her siblings died of scarlet fever.
John Ruskin wrote the fantasy story The King of the Golden River for Gray in 1841, when she was 12 and he was 21. Gray's family knew Ruskin's father and encouraged a match between the two when she had matured. After an initially unsteady courtship, she married Ruskin on 10 April 1848; she was 19 years old. During their honeymoon, they travelled to Venice, where Ruskin was doing research for his book The Stones of Venice. While in Perth, they lived at Bowerswell, the Gray family home, and site of their wedding. It had, coincidentally, previously been the home of Ruskin's paternal grandparents. In 1817, Ruskin's mother, Margaret, during her engagement to Ruskin's father, had stayed at Bowerswell and was witness to three tragic deaths within its walls in quick succession (Ruskin's grandmother, grandfather, and newborn cousin). This caused her to develop a severe phobia concerning Bowerswell, keeping her from attending her son's wedding to Gray.
Gray and Ruskin's different personalities were thrown into sharp relief by their contrasting priorities. For Gray, Venice provided an opportunity to socialise while Ruskin was engaged in solitary studies. In particular, he made a point of drawing the Ca' d'Oro and the Palazzo Ducale (Doge's Palace), because he feared they would soon be destroyed by the occupying Austrian troops. One of the troops, Lieutenant Charles Paulizza, made friends with Gray, apparently with no objection from Ruskin. Her brother, amongst others, later said that Ruskin was deliberately encouraging the friendship in order to compromise her, as an excuse to separate.
When she met John Everett Millais five years later, Gray was still a virgin. Ruskin had persistently put off consummating the marriage. Gray and Ruskin had agreed upon abstaining from sex for five years to allow Ruskin to focus on his studies. Another reason involved his apparent disgust with some aspect of her body. As she later wrote to her father:
He alleged various reasons, hatred to children, religious motives, a desire to preserve my beauty, and, finally this last year he told me his true reason... that he had imagined women were quite different to what he saw I was, and that the reason he did not make me his Wife was because he was disgusted with my person the first evening.
Ruskin confirmed this in his statement to his lawyer during the annulment proceedings: "It may be thought strange that I could abstain from a woman who to most people was so attractive. But though her face was beautiful, her person was not formed to excite passion. On the contrary, there were certain circumstances in her person which completely checked it." The reason for Ruskin's disgust with "circumstances in her person" is unknown. Various suggestions have been made, including revulsion at either her pubic hair or menstrual blood. Robert Brownell, on the contrary, in his analysis Marriage of Inconvenience, argues that Ruskin's difficulty with the marriage was financial and related to concerns that Gray and her less affluent family were trying to tap into Ruskin's considerable wealth.
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Effie Gray
Euphemia Chalmers Millais, Lady Millais (née Gray; 7 May 1828 – 23 December 1897) was a British artists' model and writer who was married to Pre-Raphaelite painter John Everett Millais. She had previously married the art critic John Ruskin, but she left him with the marriage never having been consummated; it was subsequently annulled. This famous Victorian "love triangle" has been dramatised in plays, films, and an opera.
Euphemia Chalmers Gray was born on 7 May 1828 in Perth, Perthshire, Scotland to lawyer and businessman George Gray (1798–1877) and Sophia Margaret (1808–1894), daughter of Andrew Jameson, Sheriff-substitute of Fife. She grew up at Bowerswell, an Italianate-style house near the foot of Kinnoull Hill. Though she was given the pet-name "Phemy" by her parents as a child, she started to be known as "Effie" by the time she was a teenager. Her sisters Sophie and Alice often modelled for John Everett Millais.
Between 1842 and 1844 she attended Avonbank school run by the Misses Byerley near Stratford on Avon, Warwickshire, England, partly as her parents wanted her to lose her Scottish accent. She was an assiduous student at Avonbank winning prizes in every year but was taken out of school to be a support to her mother when her siblings died of scarlet fever.
John Ruskin wrote the fantasy story The King of the Golden River for Gray in 1841, when she was 12 and he was 21. Gray's family knew Ruskin's father and encouraged a match between the two when she had matured. After an initially unsteady courtship, she married Ruskin on 10 April 1848; she was 19 years old. During their honeymoon, they travelled to Venice, where Ruskin was doing research for his book The Stones of Venice. While in Perth, they lived at Bowerswell, the Gray family home, and site of their wedding. It had, coincidentally, previously been the home of Ruskin's paternal grandparents. In 1817, Ruskin's mother, Margaret, during her engagement to Ruskin's father, had stayed at Bowerswell and was witness to three tragic deaths within its walls in quick succession (Ruskin's grandmother, grandfather, and newborn cousin). This caused her to develop a severe phobia concerning Bowerswell, keeping her from attending her son's wedding to Gray.
Gray and Ruskin's different personalities were thrown into sharp relief by their contrasting priorities. For Gray, Venice provided an opportunity to socialise while Ruskin was engaged in solitary studies. In particular, he made a point of drawing the Ca' d'Oro and the Palazzo Ducale (Doge's Palace), because he feared they would soon be destroyed by the occupying Austrian troops. One of the troops, Lieutenant Charles Paulizza, made friends with Gray, apparently with no objection from Ruskin. Her brother, amongst others, later said that Ruskin was deliberately encouraging the friendship in order to compromise her, as an excuse to separate.
When she met John Everett Millais five years later, Gray was still a virgin. Ruskin had persistently put off consummating the marriage. Gray and Ruskin had agreed upon abstaining from sex for five years to allow Ruskin to focus on his studies. Another reason involved his apparent disgust with some aspect of her body. As she later wrote to her father:
He alleged various reasons, hatred to children, religious motives, a desire to preserve my beauty, and, finally this last year he told me his true reason... that he had imagined women were quite different to what he saw I was, and that the reason he did not make me his Wife was because he was disgusted with my person the first evening.
Ruskin confirmed this in his statement to his lawyer during the annulment proceedings: "It may be thought strange that I could abstain from a woman who to most people was so attractive. But though her face was beautiful, her person was not formed to excite passion. On the contrary, there were certain circumstances in her person which completely checked it." The reason for Ruskin's disgust with "circumstances in her person" is unknown. Various suggestions have been made, including revulsion at either her pubic hair or menstrual blood. Robert Brownell, on the contrary, in his analysis Marriage of Inconvenience, argues that Ruskin's difficulty with the marriage was financial and related to concerns that Gray and her less affluent family were trying to tap into Ruskin's considerable wealth.
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