Flirting

Flirting or coquetry is a social and sexual behavior involving body language, or spoken or written communication between humans. It is used to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with another person and for amusement. Flirting can change in intention as well as intensity, whether it is harmless fun, or employed with the design of seeking a romantic or sexual relationship.

A person might flirt with another by speaking or behaving in such a way that suggests their desire to increase intimacy in their current relationship with that person. The approach may include communicating a sense of playfulness, irony, or by using double entendres.

The origin of the word "flirt" is unknown. The first use of the word dates to 1580—with the intransitive "flit" and the noun form—ca 1590—with the transitive "flick".

Flirt has been attributed to the French conter fleurette, meaning to woo. Fleurette, meaning small flower, was used in the 16th century in some sonnets and texts, and has since fallen out of use. This expression is still used in French, often mockingly, although the English loanword, "to flirt", is in the common vernacular. Flirting in the English language has the same meaning as to "conter fleurette".

During World War II, anthropologist Margaret Mead was working in Britain for the British Ministry of Information and later for the U.S. Office of War Information, delivering speeches and writing articles to help American soldiers better understand British civilians, and vice versa. Mead found a pattern of misunderstandings in the flirtations between American soldiers and British women regarding who was supposed to take which initiative. She wrote of the Americans, "The boy learns to make advances and rely upon the girl to repulse them whenever they are inappropriate to the state of feeling between the pair", as contrasted to the British, where "the girl is reared to depend upon a slight barrier of chilliness... which the boys learn to respect, and for the rest to rely upon the men to approach or advance, as warranted by the situation." When flirting with each other, British women could interpret an American soldier's gregariousness as something more intimate or serious than he had intended.

Communications theorist Paul Watzlawick researched courtship behaviors between English women and North American servicemen in late- to post-WWII, finding common misunderstandings of intent. The simple act of kissing during the 'wrong stage' of the courtship often led both parties to believe the other was being too forward, too soon.

According to social anthropologist Kate Fox, there are two main types of flirting: flirting for fun, and flirting with further intent. In a 2014 review, sociologist David Henningsen identified six main motivations for flirting: sex, relational development, exploration, fun, self-esteem, and as a means to an end. Henningsen found that many flirting interactions involve more than one of these motives.

Henningsen and Fox showed that flirting can sometimes be used just for fun. People may engage in flirting to consolidate or maintain a romantic relationship with their partner.