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Jeeves and the Greasy Bird
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Jeeves and the Greasy Bird
"Jeeves and the Greasy Bird" is a short story by English humorist P. G. Wodehouse, and features the young gentleman Bertie Wooster and his valet Jeeves. The story was published in Playboy magazine in the United States in December 1965, and in Argosy magazine in the United Kingdom in January 1967. The story was also included in the 1966 collection Plum Pie.
In the story, Bertie tries to help his new friend Sir Roderick Glossop, and gets into trouble involving the theatrical agent Jas Waterbury and Waterbury's niece Trixie.
Bertie returns from seeing Sir Roderick Glossop, who once disliked Bertie but is now friendly. Roderick's fiancée Myrtle refuses to marry while Roderick's daughter, Honoria, is unmarried. Dahlia Travers, Bertie's aunt, tells Bertie that Blair Eggleston, who writes for her weekly paper, loves Honoria but is too shy to say it. Aunt Dahlia asks Bertie to play Santa Claus at her Christmas party, but Bertie refuses. Jeeves supports Bertie's decision, which impresses Bertie because he turned down Jeeves's request for them to visit Florida after Christmas, because Bertie does not want to miss the Drones Club Darts Tournament.
Wanting to help Sir Roderick, Bertie kisses Honoria in front of Eggleston, to spur Eggleston to confess his feelings. Bertie tells this to Aunt Dahlia, who then gets a call from Honoria. She was engaged to Eggleston, but he broke the engagement when Bertie kissed her. She will now marry Bertie. Bertie does not want to marry her, but also does not want to hurt her feelings by refusing. Jeeves advises pretending to be engaged to someone else.
Bertie decides to hire an actress through a theatrical agent to pretend to be his fiancée. He chooses the greasy-headed agent Jas Waterbury, who recommends his niece Trixie. At the Drones Club, Bertie is troubled to hear from Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright that Jas cheated two of Bertie's fellow Drones, Oofy Prosser and Freddie Widgeon. While sharing an embrace with Trixie, Bertie is discovered, but by Eggleston, not Honoria. Bertie tells him that he and Trixie are engaged, but it hardly matters, since Eggleston and Honoria reconciled already. Jas tells Bertie to marry Trixie, since Bertie has named her as his fiancée. Bertie refuses, but Jas hints at threatening a breach of promise case. Jas expects Bertie to pay him tomorrow. Aunt Dahlia discusses with Jeeves how to help Bertie.
"I represent Messrs. Alsopp and Wilson, wine merchants, goods supplied to the value of three hundred and four pounds, fifteen shillings and eightpence, a bill which Mr. Wooster finds it far beyond his fiscal means to settle. I am what is technically known as the man in possession."
A hoarse "Gorblimey" burst from Jas's lips. I thought it rather creditable of him that he did not say anything stronger.
Before Jas enters Bertie's flat, Jeeves tells Bertie to hide behind the piano. Then Jeeves lies to Jas, claiming to be in Bertie's flat as the man in possession, or broker's man, for a wine company. (This means that Bertie's creditors have a legal right to Bertie's property until his debt is paid; Jeeves is employed to take possession of the property and watch over it until Bertie pays off his debt.) This stuns Jas, who thought Bertie was wealthy. Jeeves adds that Bertie is dependent on his aunt, Mrs. Travers, and that he pretends to be Bertie's valet so that Bertie will not get in trouble with his aunt.
Aunt Dahlia enters, acting shocked to find out that Jeeves is a broker's man, and declares that she will send Bertie off to Canada, with nothing left to pay Jas. Convinced that he can get no money from Bertie, Jas leaves. Bertie thanks Jeeves and Aunt Dahlia, and reluctantly agrees to play Santa Claus for his aunt, but Jeeves suggests that Sir Roderick would make a better Santa Claus. Aunt Dahlia agrees. Grateful to Jeeves, Bertie gives up the Darts Tournament for a trip to Florida.
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Jeeves and the Greasy Bird
"Jeeves and the Greasy Bird" is a short story by English humorist P. G. Wodehouse, and features the young gentleman Bertie Wooster and his valet Jeeves. The story was published in Playboy magazine in the United States in December 1965, and in Argosy magazine in the United Kingdom in January 1967. The story was also included in the 1966 collection Plum Pie.
In the story, Bertie tries to help his new friend Sir Roderick Glossop, and gets into trouble involving the theatrical agent Jas Waterbury and Waterbury's niece Trixie.
Bertie returns from seeing Sir Roderick Glossop, who once disliked Bertie but is now friendly. Roderick's fiancée Myrtle refuses to marry while Roderick's daughter, Honoria, is unmarried. Dahlia Travers, Bertie's aunt, tells Bertie that Blair Eggleston, who writes for her weekly paper, loves Honoria but is too shy to say it. Aunt Dahlia asks Bertie to play Santa Claus at her Christmas party, but Bertie refuses. Jeeves supports Bertie's decision, which impresses Bertie because he turned down Jeeves's request for them to visit Florida after Christmas, because Bertie does not want to miss the Drones Club Darts Tournament.
Wanting to help Sir Roderick, Bertie kisses Honoria in front of Eggleston, to spur Eggleston to confess his feelings. Bertie tells this to Aunt Dahlia, who then gets a call from Honoria. She was engaged to Eggleston, but he broke the engagement when Bertie kissed her. She will now marry Bertie. Bertie does not want to marry her, but also does not want to hurt her feelings by refusing. Jeeves advises pretending to be engaged to someone else.
Bertie decides to hire an actress through a theatrical agent to pretend to be his fiancée. He chooses the greasy-headed agent Jas Waterbury, who recommends his niece Trixie. At the Drones Club, Bertie is troubled to hear from Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright that Jas cheated two of Bertie's fellow Drones, Oofy Prosser and Freddie Widgeon. While sharing an embrace with Trixie, Bertie is discovered, but by Eggleston, not Honoria. Bertie tells him that he and Trixie are engaged, but it hardly matters, since Eggleston and Honoria reconciled already. Jas tells Bertie to marry Trixie, since Bertie has named her as his fiancée. Bertie refuses, but Jas hints at threatening a breach of promise case. Jas expects Bertie to pay him tomorrow. Aunt Dahlia discusses with Jeeves how to help Bertie.
"I represent Messrs. Alsopp and Wilson, wine merchants, goods supplied to the value of three hundred and four pounds, fifteen shillings and eightpence, a bill which Mr. Wooster finds it far beyond his fiscal means to settle. I am what is technically known as the man in possession."
A hoarse "Gorblimey" burst from Jas's lips. I thought it rather creditable of him that he did not say anything stronger.
Before Jas enters Bertie's flat, Jeeves tells Bertie to hide behind the piano. Then Jeeves lies to Jas, claiming to be in Bertie's flat as the man in possession, or broker's man, for a wine company. (This means that Bertie's creditors have a legal right to Bertie's property until his debt is paid; Jeeves is employed to take possession of the property and watch over it until Bertie pays off his debt.) This stuns Jas, who thought Bertie was wealthy. Jeeves adds that Bertie is dependent on his aunt, Mrs. Travers, and that he pretends to be Bertie's valet so that Bertie will not get in trouble with his aunt.
Aunt Dahlia enters, acting shocked to find out that Jeeves is a broker's man, and declares that she will send Bertie off to Canada, with nothing left to pay Jas. Convinced that he can get no money from Bertie, Jas leaves. Bertie thanks Jeeves and Aunt Dahlia, and reluctantly agrees to play Santa Claus for his aunt, but Jeeves suggests that Sir Roderick would make a better Santa Claus. Aunt Dahlia agrees. Grateful to Jeeves, Bertie gives up the Darts Tournament for a trip to Florida.