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Totally F***ed Up

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Totally F***ed Up

Totally F***ed Up (also known as Totally Fucked Up) is a 1993 American avant-garde drama film written and directed by Gregg Araki. As the first installment of Araki's Teenage Apocalypse film trilogy, it is considered a seminal entry in the New Queer Cinema genre.

The film chronicles the dysfunctional lives of six gay adolescents who have formed a family unit. Over the course of the movie, they struggle to get along with each other and with life in the face of various major obstacles. As classified by Araki, it is "a rag-tag story of the fag-and-dyke teen underground....a kinda cross between avant-garde experimental cinema and a queer John Hughes flick." Because of the film's 15-part structure and use of documentary-like interviews, it has earned comparison to Godard's Masculin Féminin, which Araki has cited as significant inspiration. Totally F***ed Up first premiered at the 1993 Sundance Film Festival.

Totally F***ed Up is concerned with six teenagers, four of whom are gay men, the other two a lesbian couple. The plot is episodic, spliced together with various segments and occasional tangents. The story itself is framed through the amateur documentary filmmaking of Steven, one of the teenagers, but it mainly follows a linear series of events. Araki has constructed the film in 15 parts, which is described in the opening titles.

The film follows the lives and romances of the teenagers. In terms of notable events, Steven and Deric break up due to Steven's infidelity, Deric is the victim of a gay bashing attack, and Michele and Patricia attempt to conceive a child. The narrative ultimately culminates at a climax where Andy dies of suicide. There is an epilogue-like reaction from the other five characters before the film ends.

As a smaller production with "virtually no crew," Araki himself operated as cinematographer, accompanied by a sound person, the producer/PA, and necessary cast members depending on what scene was being shot. The film was recorded using a 16 mm film camera. Without a production designer, Araki also scouted locations that "had a weird surreal quality to them." In terms of casting, to ensure that the film felt authentic, Araki chose real teenagers to embody each of the roles.

Totally F***ed Up makes extensive use of a handheld video camcorder, which one of the characters uses to provide insight into the lives of other characters through interview-like discussion. The technique — first seen in a major theatrical release with Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989) — became popular throughout the 1990s, evident also in later films such as Reality Bites (1994), American Beauty (1999), and The Blair Witch Project (1999). Araki revisited the camcorder idea in his 1997 film Nowhere.

As part of the New Queer Cinema movement, a term coined and established by B. Ruby Rich, the film initially set itself apart in its narrative and aesthetic representations of queer identity. With the significant increase in gay and lesbian movies during the 1990s as a response to the AIDS crisis, Rich noted how these projects were "irreverent, energetic, alternately minimalist and excessive. Above all, they’re full of pleasure. They’re here, they’re queer, get hip to them." Much like Cheryl Dunye's The Watermelon Woman or Todd Haynes' Poison, Totally F***ed Up fit within this niche of cinema that was experimental, political, and featured queer characters at the forefront of the narrative. Throughout the film, the group of teenagers for the most part are fully out and sure of their respective sexualities. By focusing on queer teenagers specifically, Araki considers the tumultuous political climate and how issues of love, romance, break-ups, and romance operates differently in relation to the queer community. While the characters try to hold onto their friendships and partnerships at a formative moment in their lives, the question of safety and larger social repercussions looms large.

Like the rest of the Teenage Apocalypse film trilogy, LA serves as an important backdrop for the cast of characters to grapple with issues of loneliness and isolation. Although the group of teenagers achieves a sense of queer community behind doors, it is the reality of 1990s American politics within the broader landscape of the city that enforces various social pressures. Not only is there an expectation for the group to be or act a certain way, the consumerist culture of LA is ever-present and inescapable. Although the characters seek to exist outside of the mainstream, the larger culture of the city makes it almost impossible. As an LA native himself, Araki also noted that his experiences growing up informed the logic of the film, stating that the project is "filled with that kind of like L.A. talk and shopping malls."

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