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Playing the victim
Playing the victim (also known as victim playing, victim card, or self-victimization) is the perceived fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a professional victim. An actual victim is someone or something that has been hurt, damaged, or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance.
Victim playing by abusers is either:
It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:
Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.
While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time. Dutch management scholar Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries writes that:
Victims' talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help. In most instances, however, the help given is of short duration. And like moths in a flame, helpers quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims' miserable situation; there is no movement for the better. Any efforts rescuers make are ignored, belittled, or met with hostility. No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated – and walk away.
Victim playing may also be an attention-seeking technique, as in Münchausen syndrome.
According to Bosnian political theorist Jasmin Hasanović, in the post-Yugoslav context, the repeated emphasis on narratives of victimhood can function as a form of auto-colonialism. Hasanović argues that this dynamic reinforces regional stereotypes associated with the Balkans and aligns with external narratives that portray the region as inherently prone to conflict. In his view, this framing sustains a perception of continuous fear and conflict, which can contribute to the persistence of ethnonationalist ideologies.
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Playing the victim
Playing the victim (also known as victim playing, victim card, or self-victimization) is the perceived fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a professional victim. An actual victim is someone or something that has been hurt, damaged, or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance.
Victim playing by abusers is either:
It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:
Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.
While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time. Dutch management scholar Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries writes that:
Victims' talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help. In most instances, however, the help given is of short duration. And like moths in a flame, helpers quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims' miserable situation; there is no movement for the better. Any efforts rescuers make are ignored, belittled, or met with hostility. No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated – and walk away.
Victim playing may also be an attention-seeking technique, as in Münchausen syndrome.
According to Bosnian political theorist Jasmin Hasanović, in the post-Yugoslav context, the repeated emphasis on narratives of victimhood can function as a form of auto-colonialism. Hasanović argues that this dynamic reinforces regional stereotypes associated with the Balkans and aligns with external narratives that portray the region as inherently prone to conflict. In his view, this framing sustains a perception of continuous fear and conflict, which can contribute to the persistence of ethnonationalist ideologies.