"Male Unbonding" is the fourth episode of the first season of the American television sitcom Seinfeld (and the second episode of the series in production order). It first aired on NBC in the United States on June 14, 1990. The episode was written by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, and was the first filmed episode directed by Tom Cherones. In this episode, Jerry, after spending years avoiding his unwanted friend Joel Horneck (Kevin Dunn), tries to "break up" as if he were a woman.

This was the first episode produced with Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) as a character. It also was the first episode to use Jonathan Wolff's title music. This is the only Seinfeld episode whose title does not begin with the definite article "The".

George fears that he doomed his relationship by telling his girlfriend he likes her, having blurted this out after a piece of dental floss in his pocket got stuck to his hand. Jerry suggests that George is more likely to get dumped for the fanny pack he is wearing.

Jerry is blindsided when Kramer hands him a call from Joel Horneck, a clingy childhood friend who has been calling for 7 years. Through gritted teeth, Jerry accepts his invitation to meet. Since Jerry has been reduced to vigilantly avoiding Horneck's calls, George suggests Jerry decisively "break up" with Horneck as if he were a woman, even though Jerry calls this unprecedented between men.

Meeting at Monk's Café, Jerry jokes about performing for Hezbollah, confirming that Horneck, self-involved as always, does not hear a word he says. Jerry also disapproves of his overbearing demands for unprocessed turkey meat. Jerry goes through a textbook breakup with Horneck, offering excuses like "it's not you, it's me", then is guilted into taking it back when Horneck pitifully breaks down in tears. Jerry reconciles by inviting Horneck to a Knicks game, and Horneck reverts to his old self. However, Jerry has already invited George, and must take it back.

George gets dumped by his girlfriend, but finishes his meal with her and ends up paying the bill. At the bank, he tries to change a large jar of coins into bills, but is forced to roll the coins himself. George feels betrayed by Jerry reneging on the Knicks game and refuses to go with Horneck, so Jerry backs out with a made-up excuse, leaving Horneck with both tickets. Kramer plans to open a pizza place where customers knead and cook their own pizzas, and invites them to invest.

Elaine finds that Jerry has compiled a list of excuses to use on Horneck, and adds some humiliating ones to the list. Kramer returns from the Knicks game with Horneck, having befriended him over the earlier phone call. Horneck realizes Jerry made up his excuse, but is not dissuaded from roping Jerry and Elaine into another Knicks game. Jerry and Elaine work together to invent more excuses, but cannot keep up with Horneck, who is scouring the entire season schedule on their behalf.

Kramer's pizza parlor idea reappears in later episodes such as "The Puffy Shirt" in season 5, and "The Couch" in season 6.