"Every Sperm Is Sacred" is a musical sketch from the film Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. A satire of Catholic teachings on reproduction that forbid masturbation and contraception, the song was released on the album Monty Python Sings and was nominated for a BAFTA Music Award for Best Original Song in a Film in 1983.

André Jacquemin and David Howman wrote the music and Michael Palin and Terry Jones wrote the lyrics and performed the song, which is hailed as one of the Pythons' great sketches. Viewing Python as the "great originator" of combining provocative humour and high-quality original music, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane regarded the song as his favourite Python number, stating: "It's so beautifully written, it's musically and lyrically legit, the orchestrations are fantastic, the choreography and the presentation are very, very complex – it's treated seriously."

The song is a satire of Catholic teachings on reproduction that forbid masturbation and contraception by artificial means. The sketch, called "The Third World", is about a Catholic Yorkshire worker played by Michael Palin, with his wife played by director Terry Jones. They have sixty-three children, who are about to be sold for scientific experimentation purposes because their parents can no longer afford to care for such a large family with the local mill being closed. When their children ask why they should not use any form of birth control, or why the father cannot perform self-castration, their father explains that this is against God's wishes, and breaks into song, the chorus of which is:

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

The production in The Meaning of Life was filmed in Colne, Lancashire, and Burnley, Lancashire, and choreographed by Arlene Phillips to a storyboard by Jones. The hearty and cheerful nature of the musical number is counterpointed as the children are marched off to their fate as the song ends, singing a dour rendition of the chorus as their middle-aged Protestant neighbours (played by Graham Chapman and Eric Idle) comment on the teachings of the Catholic Church. They add that they have two children, which is the exact number of times they have had sex in their marriage. The grounds of Cartwright Hall art gallery in Bradford, West Yorkshire, was used as a location for the singing and dancing nurses.

The song is a style pastiche of the song "Consider Yourself", from the musical Oliver! by Lionel Bart. Later, Jones denied that it was explicitly written to make fun of the genre of musical comedy: "'Every Sperm is Sacred' is not a parody of these things, it just is those things, it's a musical song, it's a hymn, it's a Lionel Bart-style musical, but it's not making fun of a Lionel Bart-style musical."

The song was performed at Monty Python Live (Mostly), with Idle singing Palin's part. It was also followed by the discussion from the Protestant married couple, with Palin and Jones playing the Protestant husband and wife respectively.

The phrase "every sperm is sacred" has become almost proverbial in the field of animal and human sexuality and reproduction. This extends to such areas as cloning, where the song is used to criticize anti-cloning activists who argue that every embryo or fertilized egg is sacred. Abortion-rights activists have sung the song outside abortion clinics to ridicule their opponents, legal scholars have alluded to it in discussions of women's reproductive rights, and Emily Martin describes its usage as a reductio ad absurdum of anti-abortion positions.