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In My Secret Life
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| "In My Secret Life" | |
|---|---|
| Song by Leonard Cohen | |
| from the album Ten New Songs | |
| Language | English |
| Released | 2001 |
| Genre | Soft rock |
| Length | 4:53 |
| Label | Columbia |
| Songwriters | Leonard Cohen, Sharon Robinson |
| Producer | Sharon Robinson |
"In My Secret Life" is a song written and performed by Leonard Cohen and Sharon Robinson. Bob Metzger plays the guitar. The song first appears on the album Ten New Songs, released in 2001.
Cohen first revealed he was working on a new song called 'My Secret Life' in 1988,[1] although it was not until 2001 that the song finally made it onto record. In addition to the album version of 4:53 minutes long, a promotional radio edit of 3:52 minutes was released by Sony Music Canada.[2]
"In My Secret Life" peaked at number two on the Polish Airplay Chart in 2002.[3]
Music video
[edit]The music video for "In My Secret Life" was filmed in Montreal at Habitat 67. This building is famous for its futuristic take on architecture and was built by Jewish architect Moshe Safdie, popular for Expo 67 in 1967 as his thesis at McGill University.
Cover versions
[edit]The song has been covered by Eric Burdon (on his 2004 album My Secret Life), Katie Melua (on her 2009 album Pictures), Dominique Eade, Till Brönner, Ariane Moffatt, Adan Jodorowsky (in Spanish on the documentary Hecho en México) and Tapani Kansa amongst others.
Bettye LaVette performed the song at the 2017 Tower of Song: A Memorial Tribute to Leonard Cohen concert.[4]
Personnel
[edit]- Leonard Cohen : Vocals
- Sharon Robinson : Keyboard, drum programming, bass programming, vocals.
- Bob Metzger : electric guitar
References
[edit]- ^ de Lisle, Tim. 'Who held a gun to Leonard Cohen's head?' The Guardian, September 17, 2004.
- ^ LeonardCohenFiles.com CD SINGLES AND PROMOS 2001 - 2003
- ^ PiF PaF PRODUCTION - airplay chart top 30. LISTA KRAJOWA, tydzień 08 - 2002
- ^ "Watch Tower of Song: A Memorial Tribute to Leonard Cohen on Wednesday, January 3 on CBC". CBC Arts, December 29, 2017.
| Studio albums | |
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| Live albums | |
| Compilations | |
| Tribute albums | |
| Concert tours | |
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In My Secret Life
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Background
Development
Leonard Cohen first mentioned working on a song titled "My Secret Life" in 1988 during an interview on UK Radio 2 with Gloria Hunniford, where he recited a verse from it to illustrate his ongoing creative process.[8] The track remained unfinished for over a decade, as Cohen continued to develop it amid his broader artistic pursuits.[9] In the late 1990s, Cohen collaborated with songwriter Sharon Robinson, who helped refine the lyrics and structure, resulting in her receiving co-writing credit on the final version.[5] This partnership marked a key step in completing the song, which evolved through Cohen's personal reflections during a period of introspection.[9] The development of "In My Secret Life" took place during Cohen's extended career hiatus following the release of his 1992 album The Future, a time when he stepped back from public music-making to address personal challenges, including a retreat to a Zen monastery on Mount Baldy.[10][11] This long gestation period culminated in the song's inclusion on the 2001 album Ten New Songs, signaling Cohen's return to recording.[10]Recording
The recording of "In My Secret Life" took place between 2000 and 2001, primarily at Leonard Cohen's home studio, Still Life, and Sharon Robinson's home studio, Small Mercies, both located in Los Angeles. These intimate settings contributed to the album's overall cocoon-like atmosphere, allowing for a focused collaborative process following the song's extended development over several years.[12][13] Sharon Robinson served as the producer for the track, handling keyboards, synthesizers, and programming to build the foundational layers of the arrangement. She sequenced most of the instrumentation, working closely with Cohen to shape the sound, while Cohen contributed vocals and occasional keyboard parts using a Technics SX-KN6000. The production emphasized a minimalist approach, with subtle live elements integrated sparingly to support the composition's mood.[12][14][13] Cohen's vocals were captured in a sparse, intimate style to prioritize lyrical delivery and emotional nuance, using a Neumann U87 microphone through a Brent Averill Neve 1272 preamp with minimal compression to retain natural transients. Engineer Leanne Ungar oversaw the sessions, applying limited reverb and processing to maintain clarity and presence. The track features delicate acoustic guitar by Bob Metzger, adding warmth without overwhelming the arrangement's restraint. Mixing occurred at Still Life Studios and Small Mercies Studio, with final mastering handled digitally by Bob Ludwig at Gateway Mastering.[12][15]Composition
Lyrics and themes
The lyrics of "In My Secret Life" explore the tension between outward conformity and inner authenticity through a series of verses that reveal the narrator's dual existence. The opening verse sets this contrast with imagery of fleeting encounters and persistent longing: "I saw you this morning / You were moving so fast / Can't seem to loosen my grip / On the past / And I miss you so much / And there's no one in sight / And we're still making love / In my secret life." These lines serve as a metaphor for lost connections, where the rapid pace of daily life severs physical ties, yet emotional and imaginative bonds endure in private reverie.[16][17] The second verse deepens this duality by admitting to performative behaviors essential for social navigation: "I smile when I'm angry / I cheat and I lie / I know you know that I / Couldn't tell you apart / And I know what is wrong / And I know that is right / Between the things of the night / And the things of the day." Here, the narrator acknowledges moral compromises made to "get by," highlighting the blurred lines between deception and survival in everyday interactions.[16] The third verse extends this to spiritual and perceptual divides: "I believe in the saints' days / I believe in the sound / I believe in the truth / Of what you are saying / But I believe in the shadows / I believe in the night / And I believe in the morning / When the sun comes up," juxtaposing faith in light and truth against an equal pull toward darkness and ambiguity.[16] At its core, the song thematizes duplicity in modern life, reflecting the inner conflicts arising from public personas versus private introspection—a tension informed by Cohen's experiences with fame, which he described as creating misconceptions that isolated him personally, and his Zen Buddhist practice, which fostered a meditative escape from self-analysis.[18] This theme draws from Cohen's time as a Rinzai Zen monk, where he sought enlightenment through routines that emphasized inner peace amid external chaos, influencing the song's portrayal of a "secret life" as a refuge for unfiltered truth.[18] The lyrics were co-written with Sharon Robinson, who refined them during their collaborative process for the album Ten New Songs.[19] The recurring chorus—"In my secret life / In my secret life / In my secret life / In my secret life"—functions as a meditative refrain on unattainable ideals and spiritual yearning, underscoring the narrator's perpetual striving for wholeness amid fragmentation. This repetition evokes a chant-like introspection, aligning with Cohen's broader exploration of human-spiritual duality, where desires for connection and enlightenment remain elusive yet essential.[20][16]Musical style
"In My Secret Life" is a mid-tempo ballad blending folk-pop with sophisti-pop elements, lasting 4:53.[21][22] The track follows a straightforward verse-chorus form, characterized by a minimalistic arrangement that highlights acoustic guitar strums, subtle synth pads for atmospheric depth, and Leonard Cohen's distinctive baritone vocals.[23][24] Composed in F major at a moderate tempo of 82 BPM, the song prioritizes evocative, atmospheric production over elaborate instrumentation, creating an introspective mood that subtly nods to themes of secrecy.[25][26] Sharon Robinson's production imparts a cleaner, electronic-tinged polish reminiscent of Cohen's earlier folk-oriented works, while incorporating contemporary sophistication through programmed elements and restrained layering.[27][24] This approach underscores the song's emotional restraint, allowing Cohen's voice and the sparse backing to convey quiet intensity.Release and reception
Commercial performance
"In My Secret Life" was released as a promotional single in October 2001 from Leonard Cohen's album Ten New Songs.[28] The single achieved limited commercial charting and did not enter the Billboard Hot 100.[29] The parent album Ten New Songs, Cohen's first studio release in nine years, peaked at No. 143 on the US Billboard 200 chart and No. 26 on the UK Official Albums Chart, providing context for the single's exposure. It also reached No. 4 in Norway and No. 15 in Sweden.[29][30] Following Cohen's death in November 2016, "In My Secret Life" saw a posthumous resurgence in popularity, amassing over 29 million streams on Spotify by November 2025.[31]Critical reception
Upon its release in 2001, "In My Secret Life" received praise from critics for its introspective depth and emotional intimacy, with the lead track from Ten New Songs highlighting Leonard Cohen's return to exploring personal vulnerability after a nine-year hiatus.[32] Rolling Stone described the song as capturing "impossible longing," positioning it as a cornerstone of Cohen's signature style of delving into the "dark, damaged places" of the human psyche.[32] In retrospective assessments, the song has been celebrated for its enduring resonance. A 2016 Rolling Stone readers' poll ranked "In My Secret Life" as the top Leonard Cohen song from the previous 30 years, underscoring its wistful quality and sly R&B groove that evokes profound emotional impact.[5] User evaluations similarly affirm its strengths, with an 85/100 score on Album of the Year based on listener ratings that commend its emotional depth and Sharon Robinson's production, which blends subtlety with atmospheric elegance.[33] This nuanced approach contributes to its reputation as a quietly powerful entry in Cohen's catalog.Promotion
Music video
The music video for "In My Secret Life" was directed by Floria Sigismondi and released in 2002 to promote the single from Leonard Cohen's album Ten New Songs.[34][35] It features a black-and-white aesthetic shot primarily in Montreal's Habitat 67, a cubist apartment complex designed by Moshe Safdie, where Cohen wanders through the modular, concrete structures.[36][37] The visuals employ surreal, dreamlike imagery that evokes ethereal landscapes, symbolizing the song's themes of secrecy and isolation through structured yet otherworldly environments and a focus on introspection rather than linear narrative.[37] Sigismondi's theatrical style incorporates lighting and architectural elements to heighten the mood of restraint and contemplation.[37] The video was nominated for the Juno Award for Best Video in 2002 and later uploaded to YouTube by the official Leonard Cohen channel in 2010, enhancing its enduring visual legacy.[38][39]Live performances
"In My Secret Life" received its live debut by Leonard Cohen during the opening show of his 2008–2013 World Tour on May 11, 2008, at The Playhouse in Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada, where it appeared early in the setlist following "Everybody Knows."[40] The performance featured a stripped-down arrangement emphasizing Cohen's gravelly vocals and minimal instrumentation, aligning with the tour's intimate yet expansive staging. The song became a staple of the tour, performed 284 times across the tour's 372 concerts, often positioned as a mid-set highlight that showcased its introspective themes.[41][42] Backing vocalists, including Sharon Robinson and the Webb Sisters, provided layered harmonies that enhanced the track's emotional depth, particularly on choruses exploring duality and hidden desires. Over the tour's progression, adaptations incorporated violin by Alexandru Bublitchi and fuller band arrangements with electric guitar and percussion, evolving the piece from its acoustic roots while preserving its meditative pace.[43] Cohen's final rendition occurred during the tour's closing leg in December 2013 at Vector Arena in Auckland, New Zealand. Following Cohen's death in 2016, the song featured prominently in tribute performances. At the 2017 CBS special "Tower of Song: A Memorial Tribute to Leonard Cohen," Bettye LaVette delivered a soul-infused live version, infusing it with raw vocal power and gospel elements. Similarly, the January 2017 "Sincerely, L. Cohen" concert in Brooklyn included Cassandra Jenkins' rendition, highlighting the song's enduring appeal in communal homage settings.[44] These tributes underscored the track's evolution from its origins as a 1988 working title into a live centerpiece.[45]Legacy
Cover versions
Katie Melua included a cover of "In My Secret Life" on her 2007 album Pictures, recorded during sessions that infused the track with her signature jazz-inflected vocals, emphasizing the song's intimate and reflective quality.[46] The rendition maintains the original's introspective tone while adding a smooth, contemporary pop-jazz arrangement that highlights Melua's warm delivery. Eric Burdon released a rock-oriented version titled "My Secret Life" on his 2004 album of the same name, featuring prominent bluesy guitar riffs that lend a gritty, soulful edge to the lyrics' themes of duality and hidden emotions.[47] Burdon's interpretation shifts the song toward a raw, blues-rock style, preserving its contemplative essence through his gravelly vocals and amplified instrumentation. Sylvie Bourban offered a folk-styled cover in 2012, capturing the track's poetic introspection with acoustic simplicity on her live recording La Belle Usine, En Concert.[48] Her version emphasizes stripped-down guitar and vocals, aligning with the song's exploration of personal secrecy in a gentle, narrative-driven folk manner. In 2023, Leif Vollebekk delivered an acoustic rendition that underscores the original's vulnerability, using fingerpicked guitar and hushed vocals to evoke a sense of quiet revelation.[49] This cover, released as a standalone recording, varies the instrumentation toward folk minimalism while retaining the thematic depth of concealed inner lives.[2] Nathalie Kraemer's 2015 cover presents a minimalistic piano arrangement, aired on Canadian radio, where sparse keys and soft vocals amplify the song's lyrical subtlety and emotional restraint.[50] Her interpretation focuses on the introspective core, using subdued piano to create an intimate, chamber-like atmosphere distinct from more band-driven versions.[2] Other notable covers include Ariane Moffatt's rock rendition on her 2010 album Aquarium, and Cæcilie Norby's jazz version on her 2013 album Silence Is Golden. By 2025, at least 29 documented covers, including studio, live, and adaptations, had emerged, each adapting the song's themes of secrecy and authenticity through diverse styles like jazz, blues-rock, folk, and minimalism, yet consistently honoring its poetic introspection.[2]Use in media
The song "In My Secret Life" by Leonard Cohen has been prominently featured in television, underscoring moments of emotional depth and personal reflection. In the 2010 NBC medical drama series Trauma, the original recording accompanies poignant scenes involving paramedics dealing with high-stakes emergencies and inner turmoil, enhancing the narrative's exploration of vulnerability under pressure.[51] Beyond television, the track has appeared in independent cinema, aligning with its themes of duality and introspection. It is used twice in the soundtrack of the 2002 Italian indie film Amnesia, directed by Gabriele Salvatores, where it supports sequences probing memory loss and hidden identities, contributing to the film's atmospheric tension.[51] This placement exemplifies the song's role in soundtracks that prioritize psychological nuance over action-driven plots. The song also featured in the Showtime series Your Honor (2020–2023), playing over ending credits in select episodes to evoke themes of moral ambiguity. In the digital era, "In My Secret Life" maintains cultural resonance through streaming platforms, frequently included in curated playlists focused on melancholic and philosophical listening experiences, reflecting its enduring appeal for contemplative audiences. Its integration into such media has bolstered Cohen's posthumous legacy, introducing the song to new generations via thematic compilations.Personnel
- Vocals – Leonard Cohen
- Backing vocals, keyboards, synthesizers, programming, arrangements, performer – Sharon Robinson[52]
- Guitar – Bob Metzger
- Engineering, mixing – Leanne Ungar
- Mastering – Bob Ludwig
- Producer – Sharon Robinson