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Three groomsmen stand to the left of the groom and three bridesmaids stand to the right of the bride in this wedding in Kep, Cambodia.

A groomsman or usher is one of the male attendants to the groom in a wedding ceremony. Usually, the groom selects close friends and relatives to serve as groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom usually chooses one to serve as best man.

For a wedding with many guests, the groom may also ask other male friends and relatives to act as ushers without otherwise participating in the wedding ceremony; their sole task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony. Ushers may also be hired for very large weddings.

In a military officer's wedding, the roles of groomsmen are replaced by swordsmen of the sword honor guard. They are usually picked as close personal friends of the groom who have served with him. Their role includes forming the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through.

The first recorded use of the word ‘groomsmen’, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, was as recently as 1698, although the words ‘bride’ and ‘groom’ both date back to Old English.[1]

Duties

[edit]
The groom, his best man, and two ushers.

The most visible duty of the groomsmen is helping guests find their places before the ceremony and to stand near the groom during the wedding ceremony.

Additionally, the groom may request other kinds of assistance, such as planning celebratory events such as a bachelor party, also called a stag do or buck's night; helping make the wedding pleasant for guests by talking with people who are alone or dancing with unaccompanied guests or bridesmaids, if there is dancing at a wedding reception; or providing practical assistance with gifts, luggage, or unexpected complications. Groomsmen may also participate in local or regional traditions, such as decorating the newlywed couple's car.[2]

Bridegroom-men formerly had important duties. The men were called bride-knights, and represented a survival of the primitive days of marriage by capture, when a man called his friends in to assist to "lift" or kidnap the bride, or from the need to defend the bride from would-be kidnappers.[3][4][5]

Best man

[edit]
"Best man" redirects here. For other uses, see Best man (disambiguation).
A best man and a maid of honour with newlyweds

The best man is the chief assistant to the groom at a wedding. While the role is older, the earliest surviving written use of the term best man comes from 1782, observing that "best man and best maid" in the Scottish dialect are equivalent to "bride-man and bride-maid" in England.[6]

In most modern Anglophone countries, the groom extends this honor to someone who is close to him, generally a close friend or a relative (such as a sibling or cousin). During a wedding ceremony the best man stands next to the groom, slightly behind him. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant (such as a civil celebrant, priest, rabbi, minister, or other religious figure), the bride, groom, and best man. This is common in some western countries, although in others the best man and bridesmaid participate on an equal footing.

While the best man's required duties are only those of a friend, in the context of a western white wedding, the best man will typically:

  • Assist the groom on the wedding day,
  • Organise a bachelor party,[7]
  • Keep the wedding rings safe until needed during the ceremony,
  • Stand next to the groom during the ceremony,
  • Act as a legal witness to the marriage and therefore sign the marriage certificate, and
  • Prepare a "best man's speech" to be read at the reception[8]

In various countries and cultures

[edit]

The best man is not a universal custom.[9] Even in places where a best man is customary, the role may be quite different when compared to other areas of the world.

  • In the Anglosphere, it is traditional for the best man to give a short speech. On the Continent it has become common practice for all the grooms and maids to deliver speeches in addition to the fathers, brothers and sisters.
  • In Zambia, a best man is expected to lead processions both at the wedding, and at preliminary events. This includes pre-wedding dance rehearsals, at which the best man is always expected to be in attendance, and usually is expected to give an outstanding and outlandish dance-performance on the actual wedding-day.[citation needed]
  • In Uganda, a best man is expected to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. This means that ideally a best man must be married, preferably to one wife, and should be in position to give sound, tried and tested advice. A best man must be a confidant and be discreet about the details he shares with the new couple. [citation needed]
  • In Bhutan, the best man presents himself at the wedding as a ceremonial guardian to both bride and groom. Thereafter he entertains the guests, sometimes for several hours. [citation needed]
  • In Eastern Orthodox weddings in Greece, the best man is often also the koumbaros, or religious sponsor. The koumbaros (or koumbara, if a woman) is an honored participant who crowns the couple and participates in circling the altar three times. Sometimes, this person also pays for most of the wedding expenses.
  • In Ukraine, the best man is responsible for guarding the bride during the wedding festivities. In a traditional wedding, when he or the groom stepped away, the bride got "kidnapped" or had a shoe stolen. Then the groom or the best man had to pay a ransom in exchange for returning the bride, usually by paying money (which was given to the bride) or by doing something embarrassing. The custom is less common nowadays due to frequent conflicts arising from the differences in the expected sum of money.[10]

Bachelor party

[edit]
Main article: Bachelor party

In the past, the bachelor party was typically scheduled for a convenient evening during the week before the wedding. A type of farewell dinner, it was always hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, entirely by the groom.[11] The dinner was seen as the groom's last chance to entertain his friends as a single man; after the wedding, dinner parties at his home would always be presided over by his wife in her role as hostess. In recent times this practice has evolved. In many cultures, it is a customary practice for the groom to bear all the expenses of his bachelor party. This tradition highlights the groom's role in hosting a final celebration with his friends before his marriage.

Common slang names for this event are bachelor party, stag do, or bucks' night in different parts of the world. In many areas, this dinner is now most commonly organized by the best man; the costs can be shared by either all of the participants or all of the participants except for the groom, who becomes the guest of honor.[12]

See also

[edit]

References

[edit]
Revisions and contributorsEdit on WikipediaRead on Wikipedia

Groomsman

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from Grokipedia
A groomsman is a male friend or relative who attends and supports the during a , performing various duties to ensure the event proceeds smoothly. The term "groomsman" first appeared in the 1690s, referring to an attendant on the bridegroom. Typically selected from the groom's closest companions, groomsmen form part of the groom's wedding party, standing alongside him at the altar and participating in pre- and post-wedding activities. The number of groomsmen varies but commonly ranges from three to eight, with the best man serving as the lead attendant. In contemporary weddings, groomsmen's responsibilities encompass emotional and logistical support for the groom throughout the planning process and event. Prior to the , they often help organize , attend rehearsals and events, secure their formal attire, and provide advice or encouragement during preparations. On the day, duties include helping the groom , greeting and seating guests, participating in photographs, standing at the , and mingling at the reception to assist with transitions. Post-, they may aid in cleanup, transporting gifts, or hosting farewell brunches, all while contributing to a celebratory atmosphere. Today, the role is increasingly inclusive, allowing for gender-neutral participants such as groomswomen, emphasizing and reliability over traditional norms.

Definition and Role

Primary Responsibilities

Groomsmen serve as male attendants who provide support to the groom throughout the process, typically standing beside him at during the and participating in associated pre-wedding events. Their role emphasizes companionship and assistance, often drawing from close personal relationships such as friendships or family ties. Among their core functions, groomsmen offer emotional support to the groom, helping to alleviate pre-wedding stress and maintain during preparations and the event itself. They also handle logistical tasks, such as coordinating transportation, ensuring timely arrivals, and aiding with setup or minor errands on the wedding day. In many ceremonies, groomsmen act as ushers, seating guests and guiding them to appropriate locations in the venue. The typical number of groomsmen ranges from two to ten, depending on the scale of the , with an average of around five in contemporary celebrations. Selection is generally based on the groom's closest relationships, ensuring a group that can reliably fulfill these supportive duties without overwhelming the event's . In certain jurisdictions, groomsmen may serve as official witnesses by signing the , legally attesting to the union's occurrence, though this role can vary by local requirements and is often shared with the best man. This function underscores their integral part in formalizing the , a practice that echoes historical origins where attendants provided protection and validation during ceremonies.

Distinction from Other Attendants

Groomsmen serve as the male counterparts to in traditional parties, often paired with them during the processional to create a balanced and symmetrical entrance for the bridal party. This gender-based pairing emphasizes ceremonial symmetry, where groomsmen walk alongside , supporting the groom while visually complementing the 's attendants. In contrast to , who primarily assist the with pre-wedding preparations and stand on her side during the , groomsmen focus on supporting the groom through similar emotional and logistical aid, such as participating in or helping with attire. Unlike ushers, groomsmen hold a more prominent ceremonial standing as part of the groom's immediate entourage, participating in the processional and standing at during the vows. Ushers, by comparison, are tasked exclusively with practical duties like greeting and seating guests before the begins, often without joining the processional or assuming a visible at the altar; they may wear coordinating but distinct attire from the groomsmen to reflect their supportive rather than honor attendant status. While groomsmen may occasionally double as ushers in smaller weddings to streamline s, their primary function remains tied to the groom's personal support network rather than guest logistics alone. Groomsmen differ from the best man in that they share collective group duties without the singular leadership or unique privileges afforded to the best man, such as organizing key events or delivering the primary reception toast. The best man, as the groom's chief attendant, oversees the groomsmen and holds additional responsibilities like safeguarding the rings, whereas groomsmen contribute to the ensemble without assuming this hierarchical oversight. In recent years, inclusivity trends have prompted shifts toward gender-neutral attendants, allowing women to serve as groomspeople or men as bridespeople, thereby blurring traditional male-oriented roles for groomsmen while preserving their core supportive purpose. Despite these modern adaptations, conventional groomsmen roles continue to emphasize male participants in the groom's party, maintaining historical gender distinctions in many ceremonies.

Historical Development

Etymology and Origins

The term "groomsman" originated in the late as a compound word referring to an attendant supporting the at a , formed from the possessive of "groom" (in the sense of ) and "man." The root "groom" itself emerged around 1600 as a shortened form of "," with the second element deriving from guma, meaning "man" or "earthly being," from Proto-Germanic gumon-. This linguistic evolution reflected the term's application in English contexts, where it denoted a male companion to the groom, distinct from earlier uses of "groom" for a servant or youth. The records the earliest evidence of "groomsman" in 1698, in a letter by Presbyterian minister , marking its entry into documented usage as a supportive in marital proceedings. The foundational role of groomsmen traces to ancient Roman and Anglo-Saxon traditions. In Roman ceremonies, the bridal party, consisting of the bride's female relatives, participated in the by carrying torches symbolizing protection and invoking divine blessings from deities like Juno and to ward off evil influences. Anglo-Saxon customs involved kinsmen and trusted advisors, known as frynd and magas, who provided legal surety, consent, and pledges during marriage agreements, often tied to family alliances and property exchanges. Medieval European influences further shaped the groomsman as a of , with attendants—known as "bride knights"—selected for their combat skills to escort the couple safely to the and fend off interruptions from disapproving kin or suitors during practices like " by capture." These knights or friends ensured unobstructed passage, often standing armed beside the groom, which evolved into a ceremonial emphasizing brotherhood and guardianship. By the , European records began documenting groomsmen explicitly as witnesses and supporters, solidifying their position in formal documentation beyond mere .

Evolution in Wedding Traditions

In the , the role of the groomsman underwent significant formalization during the , transitioning from earlier protective functions to more ceremonial and supportive duties that emphasized social decorum and etiquette. Groomsmen, often referred to as ushers, were tasked with receiving the clergyman, presenting him to the couple, and standing at the groom's right side during the ceremony to provide moral and physical support. This shift reflected broader societal changes in Britain and America, where weddings evolved from private family affairs to public displays of class and propriety, with etiquette guides like outlining specific responsibilities for attendants to ensure orderly proceedings. The 20th century brought further transformations influenced by global conflicts and economic recovery. During World War I and World War II, wartime rationing, travel restrictions, and the loss of potential attendants led to smaller wedding parties, with many ceremonies limited to immediate family and minimal supporters due to the uncertainty and scarcity of resources. Post-1950s, however, weddings grew more elaborate amid economic prosperity and the expansion of the bridal industry, increasing the prominence of groomsmen as symbolic figures in larger, performative events that included matching attire and organized festivities. In the 21st century, the groomsman role has adapted to emphasize inclusivity and reduced adherence to traditional gender norms, allowing for co-ed wedding parties where friends and family of any gender serve as attendants regardless of the bride or groom's side. This evolution stems from broader social movements toward equality and personalization, enabling terms like "groomsmaid" or "bridesman" to become common. Media portrayals in films such as The Hangover (2009) have also shaped perceptions, often depicting groomsmen in humorous, camaraderie-focused roles that highlight friendship over formality. Following the 2008 financial recession, economic pressures contributed to a trend toward smaller wedding parties. Surveys from the , such as those by The Knot, indicate an average of four to five groomsmen, with many couples prioritizing close relationships over larger ensembles. This trend continued into the 2020s, influenced by the , which further encouraged intimate gatherings with fewer attendants as of 2023.

Duties in Modern Weddings

Pre-Wedding Tasks

Groomsmen contribute significantly to pre-wedding preparations by handling logistical tasks that alleviate the groom's burden and foster a supportive environment. These responsibilities typically commence during the phase and extend through the weeks leading up to the , encompassing planning, emotional support, and coordination efforts. They collaborate on organizing the , typically held 1 to 3 months before the , by dividing tasks such as securing reservations, arranging transportation, and managing budgets under the best man's leadership. Additionally, they participate in selecting and acquiring formalwear, attending fittings early to confirm proper fit and style, and may contribute to a collective purchase for efficiency. Groomsmen are also expected to provide thoughtful gifts, such as contributions to a bachelor party present for the groom or individual wedding gifts from the registry, to express appreciation. Groomsmen serve as key confidants, offering emotional support to manage the groom's stress throughout the planning process and maintaining a positive atmosphere. They coordinate practical logistics, including booking travel and accommodations for out-of-town events like the engagement party or , and may assist with answering guest inquiries about schedules and arrangements. In the final days, they ensure the groom's readiness by helping with last-minute preparations, such as attending the and providing recovery support after if needed. Group activities form an essential part of their involvement, with groomsmen attending pre-wedding events like the engagement party, couples shower, and to demonstrate solidarity and assist in hosting duties. They participate in pre-wedding photoshoots or rehearsals, contributing to smooth execution and group cohesion. The best man typically leads these collective efforts, delegating tasks to keep the group organized.

Ceremony and Reception Roles

During the wedding ceremony, groomsmen stand at the altar alongside the groom, typically arranged in a line with the best man positioned closest to the groom. They often escort down the prior to the bride's entrance, ensuring a smooth procession. In some traditions, groomsmen may also serve as ushers, greeting arriving guests, distributing programs, and guiding them to appropriate seats while avoiding reserved areas. Additionally, they might hold the groom's ring until the exchange, supporting the best man in this responsibility. At the reception, groomsmen participate in ushering guests to their tables, answering questions about logistics such as restrooms or parking, and facilitating a welcoming atmosphere. They join in toasts by listening attentively, applauding, and occasionally delivering brief remarks if not the best man. Groomsmen are expected to engage on the dance floor, dancing with , family members like the groom's grandmother, or other guests to encourage participation. They may assist with events such as the cake-cutting or toss, helping to organize props or participants as needed. Groomsmen contribute to symbolic actions, such as participating in unity rituals like readings. Following the reception, they aid in post-event cleanup by tidying the couple's suite, removing trash and remnants of food or decor. They also help pack and transport wedding gifts to a designated location, decorate the couple's departure vehicle, and ensure luggage is loaded for an immediate if applicable. Throughout these events, groomsmen coordinate their attire to complement the groom's, maintaining a cohesive visual .

The Best Man

Selection and Significance

The selection of the best man typically involves choosing the groom's closest friend, brother, or relative, based on a long-term bond and qualities such as reliability and trustworthiness. Factors like availability for pre-wedding events and the ability to support the groom emotionally are also key considerations in this decision. This choice emphasizes a personal connection, often prioritizing those who have been steadfast supporters throughout the groom's life over more recent acquaintances. The best man holds an elevated status among the groomsmen, symbolizing the groom's strongest ally and confidant during the wedding process. In contemporary weddings, the best man is viewed as the groom's right-hand supporter, akin to a "vice-groom," responsible for witnessing the alongside the maid of honor to affirm its legal standing. Grooms often announce the selection through a private conversation, allowing for a personal and heartfelt invitation that reflects the depth of the relationship. Alternatively, a public reveal at a casual gathering or event can add a celebratory element, though etiquette advises considering the individual's comfort with attention. When handling multiple strong candidates, such as siblings or close friends, grooms may opt for co-best men to share the role equitably, ensuring no one feels overlooked. Potential conflicts, particularly family disputes over the selection, can arise if expectations favor certain relatives; to mitigate this, open communication about the criteria and reasoning helps manage sensitivities. Prioritizing siblings in the bridal party while designating the best man based on personal closeness often resolves tensions without compromising the groom's preferences.

Unique Duties

The best man holds several exclusive responsibilities that set him apart from other groomsmen, primarily centered on , personal support for the groom, and key ceremonial roles. One of the most prominent tasks is organizing the bachelor party, where the best man coordinates activities, logistics, and expenses, often enlisting the groomsmen's help while ensuring the event aligns with the groom's preferences and remains appropriate. At the reception, the best man delivers the traditional toast, typically following the father of the bride and the maid of honor, sharing anecdotes about the groom and the couple in a heartfelt manner. During the , he safeguards the rings, holding them securely until the exchange and presenting them to the couple, or stepping in as a backup if a ring bearer is unavailable. Additionally, the best man ensures timely arrivals by managing the schedule for the groom and groomsmen, from pre-wedding preparations to the ceremony start, preventing delays that could disrupt the event. Financial obligations further distinguish the best man's role, as he often handles payments for groomsmen's attire, such as collecting deposits for rentals, or covers expenses related to and other pre-wedding events, with costs typically shared among participants. Post-wedding, he is responsible for gathering and returning the groom's rented tuxedo or suit to the vendor, ensuring all items are accounted for and avoiding additional fees. He may also prepare and deliver gratuities or fees to officiants, musicians, and other vendors on behalf of the groom. In an advisory capacity, the best man provides crucial emotional and logistical support, such as calming the groom's nerves through reassurance and check-ins during high-stress moments like getting ready or the . He vets speeches from other groomsmen or family members for appropriateness and tone, helping to maintain the event's . Additionally, he manages surprises like organizing a slideshow of the couple's photos or coordinating a group gift from the groomsmen, ensuring these elements enhance the celebration without overwhelming the groom. Legally, the best man's duties include serving as a by signing the immediately after the ceremony, a that formalizes the union in many jurisdictions. If ordained or certified, he may even officiate the itself, though this is less common and depends on local laws and the couple's preferences. These responsibilities underscore the best man's position as the groom's chief and of pivotal elements.

Cultural Variations

Western Traditions

In Western wedding traditions, particularly in , the role of the groomsman varies by country, emphasizing practical and ceremonial support. In the , groomsmen often serve as ushers, primarily responsible for greeting guests and directing them to their seats in the venue to ensure a smooth flow of the event. In , the equivalent role is filled by "témoins," selected by the couple to act as official witnesses; they stand beside the bride and groom during the and legally sign the register, combining symbolic support with administrative duties. North American customs standardize the groomsman's involvement more uniformly across the and , focusing on visual cohesion and active participation. Groomsmen typically wear matching tuxedos or suits that complement the groom's attire, participating in the processional by escorting down the and later joining reception activities such as dances and toasts. These elaborate pre-wedding gatherings, including bachelor parties organized by groomsmen, popularize themes of and festivity. Recent trends in Western weddings reflect broader societal shifts toward and flexibility. Eco-friendly practices have led to reduced emphasis on formal tuxedos for groomsmen, with couples opting for suits made from sustainable materials like or recycled fabrics to minimize environmental impact. in Western traditions underscores gratitude from the groom to his groomsmen through personalized gifts, presented at the or post-ceremony. Common items include engraved for or curated whiskey sets, symbolizing appreciation for their support and serving as lasting mementos.

Non-Western Practices

In Indian weddings, particularly within Hindu and Sikh traditions, male attendants known as groomsmen or supporting friends play a key role in the procession, where they accompany the groom on horseback or in a , dancing and celebrating to symbolize and support for the union. These attendants, often close relatives or friends, assist in protecting the groom's shoes from being playfully stolen by the bride's side during the event, adding an element of lighthearted rivalry. In Chinese wedding customs, groomsmen referred to as "xiong di" (brothers) support the groom during pre-ceremony rituals, including door games organized by the to test the groom's determination, and they contribute to the festive atmosphere by participating in these challenges alongside him. During the tea ceremony, where the couple honors elders by serving tea, the brothers may assist in arranging the setup and ensuring smooth progression, emphasizing familial bonds and respect for hierarchy. Among Zulu communities in , male relatives and friends act as attendants by joining in traditional dances and songs during the wedding ceremony, which celebrates the bride's integration into the groom's family through rhythmic performances that highlight cultural pride and communal harmony. These participants, dressed in animal skins and beads, help lead the and rituals, underscoring the groom's transition to manhood within the . In Nigerian weddings, particularly among Yoruba and Igbo groups, groomsmen don aso-ebi attire—coordinated fabrics symbolizing unity and solidarity—participating in vibrant communal celebrations with dances and toasts that reinforce family alliances and shared joy. This practice, translating to "family cloth," allows male attendants to visibly align with the groom's side, fostering a sense of collective support during processions and receptions. Islamic weddings in Middle Eastern and broader Muslim contexts feature male attendants, often witnesses or guardians like the (bride's male protector), who ensure gender segregation during the nikah ceremony and feast, maintaining while leading or supporting prayers recited by the . These roles exclude alcohol-related events, focusing instead on spiritual blessings and familial oversight to uphold religious principles. In diaspora communities, such as Indian, Chinese, and African groups in the United States and , groomsmen often blend Western tuxedos with traditional elements like turbans, embroidered aso-ebi, or motifs, participating in hybrid rituals that merge dances with aisle walks or ceremonies with toasts, reflecting cultural and fusion. This integration allows attendants to honor ancestral practices while incorporating modern egalitarian norms, as seen in multicultural feasts combining samosas, , and .

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