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Onah
Onah
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Onah (Hebrew:עוֹנָה) is a Mitzvah that obliges the husband to be attentive and responsive to his wife's emotional and intimate needs.[1]

In rabbinic Hebrew, the word literally means "due season, period, stage".[2] In the word's only Biblical appearance (Exodus 21:10), opinions are divided whether it means "time/season" or else "dwelling together".[3]

The onah commandment

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The term "mitzvat onah" (a mitzvah performed at a set time period) refers to a husband's conjugal obligations toward his wife and is also used as a halachic euphemism for marital relations.[4][5][6][7]

The Biblical source for the command is Exodus 21:10, which states that if a man takes a second wife in addition to the woman he has taken as a first wife, he may not withhold from either, food, clothing or diminish the frequency with which he cohabits with the first wife. If the former wife has such rights, then it follows that all wives have at least the same degree of rights. The frequency of cohabitation (ענתה) has been translated as providing the view shelter, along with the guaranteed food and clothing. Based upon the Gemara (Ketubot 47b), Rashi interprets this word as meaning 'Marital duty,' which can be inferred as referring to marital intercourse being a nuptial requirement.

According to the Mishnah, the frequency at which a husband must have sex with his wife (if she desires it) depends on the husband's profession: for men of independence, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for donkey-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in thirty days; for sailors, once in six months.[8]

The commandment applies even if a wife is unable to become pregnant (e.g. infertile, old, or currently pregnant or nursing).[9][10]

R. Yaakov Emden: One should ease his wife's mind and make her happy, prepare her and nurture her with words that make her happy so that she feels passionate towards him (which will be apparent in her breathing and eyes).[11]

In relation to niddah

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In the context of the laws of niddah, the word onah usually refers to a day or a night. Each 24-hour day thus consists of two onot (plural for onah). The daytime onah begins at sunrise and ends at sunset. The night-time onah lasts from sunset until sunrise.

Marital relations are forbidden during one of these 12-hour periods if a woman anticipates her menstrual cycle beginning in such a period. This is called an "onat perishah" (time period of separation).

The term onah can also refer to the length of the menstrual cycle. Halachically, (according to Jewish law) one assumes that the "onah beinonit" (or average interval), is thirty days long.

References

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from Grokipedia
Onah is a fundamental in Jewish law that mandates a husband's to engage in regular sexual relations with his , ensuring her conjugal and emotional fulfillment as part of the marital covenant. This commandment, derived from the Torah's phrase "her onah" in Exodus 21:10, interprets "onah" as the designated time for intimacy, emphasizing the wife's entitlement to physical and relational satisfaction without specifying exact frequencies but establishing minimum intervals based on the husband's circumstances. Beyond its legal framework, onah underscores the sanctity of in , viewing sexual union as a spiritual and unifying act that fosters closeness between spouses and aligns with broader ethical duties. The applies universally to Jewish marriages, with rabbinic authorities outlining variations—for instance, a must provide intimacy at least twice weekly, while a scholar once weekly—to balance professional life with familial responsibilities. Etymologically, "onah" derives from the Hebrew root meaning "time" or "season," symbolizing the rhythmic and reciprocal nature of marital relations, often extending to non-sexual expressions of and pleasure. In practice, onah integrates with other halachic principles, such as laws, prohibiting relations during menstruation and requiring subsequent immersion, thereby framing intimacy as both a right and a holy obligation. This concept highlights Judaism's holistic approach to , prioritizing mutual and over mere procreation.

Definition and Etymology

Core Meaning

Onah constitutes a positive in Jewish law, derived from Exodus 21:10, which mandates that a provide his with regular sexual relations to fulfill her physical and emotional needs. This obligation ensures the wife's satisfaction and underscores the 's primary responsibility in maintaining intimacy within the . The term onah translates to "conjugal rights" or "times of intimacy," emphasizing the wife's legal entitlement to sexual fulfillment as an essential aspect of marital duty. Unlike obligations for and clothing mentioned in the same verse, onah specifically addresses the relational and affectionate dimensions of , positioning intimacy as a right rather than a favor. This framework highlights the reciprocal nature of spousal bonds, where the husband's attentiveness fosters emotional security. Onah extends beyond procreation, serving to cultivate marital harmony, joy, and profound unity between partners, even in circumstances where conception is not possible. It promotes a holistic connection that transcends physical , enabling spouses to experience spiritual closeness and mutual pleasure akin to divine blessings. By prioritizing the wife's ecstasy and overall well-being, onah reinforces the as a source of enduring companionship and delight. In traditional Jewish weddings, the groom affirms his commitment to onah through the , a read aloud under the , which explicitly outlines his obligations including conjugal rights. This public recitation serves as a , binding the husband to provide intimacy as a foundational marital promise.

Linguistic Origins

The term onah (עונה) originates from the Hebrew root ʿ-n-h (ע.נ.ה), which conveys multiple notions including to respond, to meet, or to occur, and in this context is interpreted as relating to time, , or intimately. This root implies a sense of shared residence or affectionate companionship, evolving in to encompass periods of marital union as a form of together. Medieval commentators like Ibn Ezra and Ḥizkuni explicitly connected onah to maʿon (מעון), meaning a or , emphasizing the husband's provision of a stable, intimate living space for his . In the Tanakh, onah appears explicitly only once, in Exodus 21:10, where it denotes the undiminished "duty of marriage" or conjugal rights alongside food and clothing. Scholarly interpretations of the term vary, with traditional views favoring "her time" or "season" for scheduled intimacy, while alternatives include "shelter" (linked to dwelling) or even "anointing oil" based on ancient Near Eastern parallels. Rabbinic literature, particularly in the and , refines onah from a general biblical sense of to a precise halakhic for scheduled conjugal intimacy. In Ketubot 5:6, onah is interpreted as the fixed "times" a must fulfill his wife's needs, varying by profession—weekly for laborers, less frequently for scholars—to ensure affectionate dwelling without neglect. The in Ketubot 61b-62a expands this, deriving frequencies from the root's dwelling implication, mandating relations as an expression of companionship rather than solely procreation, thus shifting onah toward a rhythmic duty of emotional and physical union. Aramaic Targumim further illuminate this evolution by rendering onah in Exodus 21:10 as "her marriage due," "conjugal rights," or "her going in and coming out with him," preserving the root's sense of intimate dwelling while adapting it for interpretive clarity. Medieval commentators like , in his gloss on Exodus 21:10, equate onah with tashmish () but imply an underlying affectionate , aligning with the root's connotation of responsive dwelling to meet the wife's needs without diminution. This interpretive tradition solidifies onah as a multifaceted term blending temporal opportunity with the essence of marital habitation.

Historical and Textual Sources

Biblical Foundations

The commandment of onah, referring to a 's conjugal rights, finds its primary biblical foundation in Exodus 21:10, which states that if a man takes another , he must not diminish "her food, her clothing, or her times (ʿonatah)" when she is a Hebrew maidservant elevated to status. This verse appears within the broader legal framework of Exodus 21:1–11, which outlines protections for Hebrew slaves, positioning onah alongside material provisions as an essential right to prevent exploitation. Scholars interpret onah in this context as denoting periodic sexual relations, paralleling food and clothing as fundamental needs for the 's physical and emotional well-being, rather than an optional aspect of . This parallelism underscores onah as a baseline obligation, akin to sustenance, ensuring the 's dignity and stability within the marital covenant. Secondary biblical allusions reinforce the centrality of marital intimacy. In Deuteronomy 24:5, a newly married man is exempted from or public for one year to "bring happiness to his ," with the Hebrew term ve-simḥah implying conjugal and relational bonding as a prioritized . Similarly, Genesis 2:24 describes as a man leaving his parents to "cleave" (dābaq) to his , becoming "one ," which emphasizes physical and emotional union as integral to the human marital ideal established at creation. These verses collectively frame intimacy not merely as procreative but as a covenantal expression of companionship and mutual fulfillment. Early interpretations in texts, such as fragments from the Dead Sea Scrolls, further highlight intimacy within covenantal marriage. Documents like the and portray marriage as a "covenant of holiness," stressing mutual respect and spiritual compatibility, with regulations on purity (e.g., avoiding relations during ) that presuppose regular, sacred intimacy as part of marital life. These texts, reflecting pre-rabbinic Jewish thought, elevate marital relations as a divine ordinance, aligning with biblical mandates like Exodus 21:10 by viewing intimacy as essential to holiness and communal stability.

Rabbinic Interpretations

The provides the foundational rabbinic interpretation of onah as a husband's legal duty to fulfill his wife's conjugal needs through periodic intimacy, outlined in tractate Ketubot 5:6 according to the husband's profession and circumstances. For instance, it specifies that men of independent means must engage in relations every day, while laborers are obligated weekly, and those frequently away, such as sailors, every six months, emphasizing onah as an enforceable right akin to food and clothing. This framing positions onah not merely as a personal matter but as a structured halakhic requirement integral to the . The Babylonian Talmud expands on this in Ketubot 61b-62b through debates affirming onah as a biblical obligation rooted in Exodus 21:10, with Amoraic sages like and Shmuel issuing key rulings on its scope and frequency. holds that the obligation applies universally as a positive commandment, deriving it directly from the verse's prohibition against diminishing the wife's , while Shmuel nuances the interpretation by linking it to the couple's mutual consent in the but still upholds its biblical status. These discussions resolve earlier tensions, establishing that neglect of onah constitutes a breach warranting judicial intervention, and they incorporate practical considerations such as the wife's consent and health. Later codification in the , Even HaEzer 25, systematizes these Talmudic principles by detailing the 's onah duties and mechanisms for enforcement via rabbinic courts (beit din). If a persistently neglects this without valid excuse, the court may compel him to provide financial support, resume relations, or even grant the wife a with her intact, underscoring onah's role as a core marital right enforceable like other sustenance s. This provision reflects the 's emphasis on protecting the wife's dignity and preventing marital discord. Medieval commentators, exemplified by in , Hilchot Ishut 14, further interpret onah as a designed to foster spousal love and avert , portraying intimacy as both a physical duty and an emotional bond-builder. explains that fulfilling onah at the appointed times—weekly for most men—strengthens affection and guards against illicit desires, integrating it into broader ethical frameworks of while reiterating the Talmudic frequencies. This view influences subsequent halakhic works by highlighting onah's preventive role in moral and relational harmony.

Obligations and Practices

Frequency and Scheduling

The halakhic requirements for the frequency of fulfilling the onah mitzvah are outlined in the in Ketubot 61b, which prescribes specific intervals based on a husband's occupation and circumstances to ensure the wife's conjugal are met without undue burden. For men of independent means, relations are required every day; for laborers, twice a week; for drivers, once a week; for drivers, once every thirty days; and for sailors, once every six months, according to Rabbi Eliezer. These schedules reflect a balance between the husband's professional demands and the mitzvah's obligation, with urban laborers typically falling under the twice-weekly category and field workers under the weekly one for those involved in more itinerant labor like driving. These intervals represent minimum obligations, and more frequent relations are meritorious if they promote marital harmony and well-being. The term "onah" refers to the designated time interval for intimacy, calculated from one act of relations to the next, ensuring no undue delay that could constitute withholding. Preferred times for fulfillment include Friday night (Erev ) or itself, as these align with the sanctity of the day and allow for restful observance, though the exact timing may vary by agreement. codifies this framework in Even HaEzer 76:1, emphasizing that deviations must not exceed the established interval to avoid violating the . Adjustments to the schedule are permitted for holidays, extended , or illness, provided they do not lead to prolonged withholding beyond the agreed or standard interval. For instance, a must engage in relations before departing on if his onah is due, and illness may exempt him temporarily but requires compensation upon recovery to maintain the overall frequency. During festivals, the may be deferred slightly but not neglected, with rabbinic authorities stressing prompt resumption. Enforcement of these obligations is embedded in the , where the wife may stipulate a specific tailored to circumstances, and to comply can lead to intervention by a beit din, potentially compelling fulfillment or even granting rights if the withholding is severe. This legal mechanism underscores onah as a enforceable marital , with the assessing the husband's capacity and intent.

Scope of Conjugal Duties

The of onah imposes on the husband a qualitative to his wife's sexual and satisfaction during marital relations, extending beyond mere physical union to include attentiveness and foreplay. According to the , a husband must engage in acts that arouse and gratify his wife, such as caressing and other preparatory intimacies, to fulfill the commandment properly. This requirement underscores the relational aspect of onah, where the husband's attentiveness is essential to achieving mutual ecstasy and emotional . While the primary obligation rests with the husband, reciprocity exists through the broader principle of , or marital harmony, which encourages the wife to respond positively to her husband's desires for intimacy. The wife is halakhically prohibited from unilaterally refusing relations, as this could disrupt household peace, though enforcement is not symmetric to the husband's duty and focuses on cooperative fulfillment rather than compulsion. This mutual responsiveness promotes equity in the marital bond without equating the spouses' legal responsibilities. Halakhah regards marital relations not solely as a means for procreation but emphasizes the , love, and unity inherent in the act, even when pregnancy is impossible. Interpretations of the reinforce this by portraying marital intimacy as a celebration of passionate connection and divine-like harmony between partners. Such relations must occur in an atmosphere of to align with the mitzvah's intent of fostering closeness. Exceptions to the ongoing fulfillment of onah include temporary vows of , such as personal nedarim limiting intimacy, or periods of mutual for restraint, provided they do not constitute unilateral denial or prolonged deprivation. For instance, a vow, while imposing abstention from wine and other restrictions, does not inherently suspend conjugal duties unless explicitly extended by mutual agreement. Unilateral vows by the husband to abstain are invalid if they infringe on the wife's rights, ensuring the mitzvah's protection against neglect.

Interconnections with Jewish Law

Relation to Niddah

The obligation of onah, which requires a husband to engage in conjugal relations with his wife at specified intervals, is suspended during the period of niddah, encompassing the menstrual flow and the subsequent seven clean days, as sexual intimacy is strictly prohibited under Jewish law to maintain ritual purity. This suspension aligns with the Torah's explicit ban on relations during menstruation (Leviticus 18:19, 20:18), extended rabbinically to include the full niddah duration. Relations resume only after the wife completes the seven clean days, performs internal examinations (bedikot) to confirm the absence of blood, and immerses in a mikveh for ritual purification. Following purification, fulfilling the onah mitzvah takes priority, with the couple required to engage in relations during the first available onah period to avoid undue delay in meeting the obligation. The night after mikveh immersion often serves as this initial opportunity, emphasizing the restoration of marital intimacy as a core expression of the mitzvah. Talmudic discussions ensure that niddah periods do not permit permanent withholding of onah, with intervals counted such that the husband's duty persists across impurity phases, as elaborated in Ketubot 61b–62a, which outline frequency based on occupation while implicitly accounting for ritual interruptions. This ruling prevents niddah from nullifying the overall schedule, requiring resumption promptly upon purity to uphold the mitzvah's continuity. In practice, bedikah examinations play a crucial role in aligning intimacy with purity laws, conducted daily during the seven clean days to verify no residual blood and on anticipated veset days to preempt potential niddah onset, thereby safeguarding the timing of onah fulfillment. These checks, combined with the mikveh immersion, enable couples to resume relations confidently within the prescribed onah framework.

Ties to Broader Marital Rights

In Jewish law, the obligation of onah—a wife's right to conjugal relations—forms one of three fundamental marital duties imposed on the husband, alongside provision of food (mezonot) and clothing (kesut), as stipulated in Exodus 21:10. These duties establish the foundational framework for spousal support, directly incorporated into the ketubah, the marriage contract, which obligates the husband to uphold them throughout the marriage or upon its dissolution. Failure to provide any of these essentials, including onah, undermines the marital bond and equates to a breach of contract, emphasizing the interdependent nature of these rights in sustaining the household. The interdependence of onah with economic provisions is evident in the legal remedies available to the wife. If a husband neglects onah, the wife may petition a rabbinic court for enforcement, potentially securing her right to divorce without forfeiting her ketubah payment, mirroring the consequences for withholding food or clothing. This parity underscores that onah is not ancillary but integral to the wife's security and dignity, as articulated in the Mishnah (Ketubot 5:6-7), where prolonged denial entitles her to separation on equitable terms. Beyond material support, onah fosters emotional bonding and contributes to shalom bayit, the ideal of household peace central to Jewish marital ethics. By promoting unity and mutual joy between spouses, it aligns with broader commandments such as honoring parents (kibbud av va'em) and practicing hospitality (hachnasat orchim), which rely on a harmonious home environment for fulfillment. Rabbinic sources emphasize that fulfilling onah cultivates supreme happiness and oneness, essential for the emotional stability that underpins family observance of these mitzvot. Historically, rabbinic courts enforced onah obligations through measures paralleling those for sustenance failures, including fines or compulsion to perform. In cases of unjustified withholding, courts could impose economic penalties on the , as seen in talmudic discussions (Ketubot 62a-b) where non-compliance led to judicial intervention to restore marital equity or facilitate . This enforcement mechanism reinforced onah's status as a core right, ensuring accountability within the broader system of spousal duties.

Modern Interpretations and Applications

Contemporary Rabbinic Views

In Orthodox Judaism, contemporary rabbinic authorities maintain the halakhic framework of onah while adapting its application to modern circumstances such as demanding work schedules. Traditional frequencies, such as twice weekly for Torah scholars and once weekly for laborers, are upheld as minimums based on Talmudic sources like Ketubot 61b-62b, emphasizing the enduring nature of halakhah despite societal changes. Conservative rabbinic thought approaches onah through an egalitarian lens, promoting mutual of conjugal duties within marriages that prioritize . In his Rabbinic Letter on Intimate Relations, Rabbi Elliot N. Dorff articulates that intimate relations should reflect reciprocal respect and , allowing couples to negotiate frequencies and practices in line with both partners' needs, thereby transforming traditional obligations into shared responsibilities that foster emotional and physical fulfillment. Reform Judaism interprets onah as a foundational model for consensual intimacy, shifting emphasis from strict legal enforcement to ethical principles of mutual respect and joy in marital relations. Responsa from the Central Conference of American Rabbis affirm that sexual intimacy within committed relationships—ideally marriage—should embody holiness through honesty, consideration, and shared pleasure, without rigid halakhic mandates, viewing it as an expression of love rather than obligation. Twentieth- and twenty-first-century rabbinic texts increasingly incorporate psychological insights, highlighting as integral to onah. Rabbi , in his teachings on marital love, stresses that true fulfillment arises from emotional connection preceding , drawing on modern understandings of relational dynamics to enrich the mitzvah with and communication.

Relevance in Modern Jewish Life

In contemporary Jewish marriages, particularly among dual-career couples, rabbinic authorities have issued leniencies to accommodate professional travel and work-related stress while upholding the essence of the onah mitzvah. For instance, a husband departing for business travel is biblically obligated to engage in conjugal relations beforehand to address his wife's heightened emotional needs during absence, but exemptions apply if the trip serves a mitzvah purpose or if relations occur during her veset (expected menstrual period) with verbal affirmation of commitment as a substitute. Upon return, immediate intimacy is encouraged to rebuild connection, though stress from demanding schedules may allow flexible timing to prioritize mutual well-being over rigid intervals. The integration of onah with fertility challenges, such as during fertilization (IVF) or contraception periods, requires balancing the mitzvah's focus on spousal pleasure with medical necessities. Jewish law permits IVF procedures even during , as they do not invalidate immersion or disrupt intimacy obligations post-treatment, allowing couples to fulfill onah through non-procreative relations when conception is not the immediate goal. Contraception, approved for health reasons like postpartum recovery or spacing births, does not nullify onah; hormonal methods or barriers enable continued sexual fulfillment, with rabbis advising open communication to ensure the wife's needs are met despite temporary limitations. This approach underscores onah's role in sustaining marital bonds amid , where counseling often highlights its non-reproductive value for . In Jewish premarital counseling, the onah is leveraged to promote communication and equity, emphasizing discussing intimacy schedules and emotional responsiveness early to reduce future conflicts and align with halakhic mutuality. Cultural shifts in interfaith or secular Jewish contexts reframe onah toward voluntary mutuality, viewing it less as a unilateral and more as a shared expression of companionship and pleasure, even outside traditional halakhic observance. In secular settings, this manifests as cultural encouragement of egalitarian intimacy, drawing from Jewish values of (domestic peace) to navigate diverse partnerships without enforcing classical duties.

References

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