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The Contest

"The Contest" is the eleventh episode of the fourth season of the American television sitcom Seinfeld, and the 51st episode overall. Written by Larry David and directed by Tom Cherones, the episode originally aired on NBC on November 18, 1992. In the episode, Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer hold a contest to determine who can go for the longest time without masturbating.

As NBC executives felt that masturbation was not a topic suitable for prime time television, the word "masturbation" is never used in the episode, instead replaced by a number of comic euphemisms.

The term "master of my domain", describing someone who has resisted the urge to masturbate, has since become a popular catchphrase.

David won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series for the episode. In 2009, "The Contest" was ranked number 1 on TV Guide's list of the "100 Greatest Episodes of All-Time".

George, in low spirits, confesses to Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer that his mother found him masturbating to her issue of Glamour. With his mother hospitalized after throwing out her back in horror, George swears off masturbation "altogether", to everyone's incredulity. George challenges Jerry to a wager to hold out the longest; the others ante up as well, but, giving women "two to one" odds over men, they make Elaine put up extra.

Through Jerry's window, a naked woman can be seen in an apartment across the street. As George and Jerry peep transfixed, Kramer discreetly exits, then returns and pays up. George's mother, in traction at the hospital, harangues him and demands that he see a psychiatrist for what he did. When George's cousin Shelly starts asking him about his writing job for NBC, he becomes titillated by the silhouette of a female patient receiving a sponge bath by a nurse behind the divider curtain.

Elaine starts an aerobics class, where, as an unexpected bonus, John F. Kennedy Jr. is also working out. Starstruck, Elaine pretends to live at Jerry's building just to share a taxi with Kennedy. Jerry is sexually frustrated by Marla's hesitancy to lose her virginity to him. That night, Kramer sleeps soundly while the others sleeplessly hold out.

Jerry is desperate to shut out the naked woman, but Kramer is equally desperate to continue peeping, and Jerry resorts to distracting himself with cartoons on TV. George feigns filial devotion to visit his mother again during sponge bath hours, but plays for time as she begs him to get her a sandwich. Kennedy has asked to meet Elaine again at Jerry's building, enrapturing her. That night, she gives in to her fantasies.

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