Recent from talks
Nothing was collected or created yet.
Coming out
View on Wikipedia

| Part of a series on |
| LGBTQ people |
|---|
|
|
Coming out of the closet, often shortened to coming out, is a metaphor mostly used to describe LGBTQ people's self-disclosure of their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, or gender identity. While mostly used in contexts involving sexual orientation or gender identity, it is sometimes used as a shorthand in other identity self-disclosure contexts, such as the revelation of atheism or irreligion, or of one's political affiliations.
LGBTQ self-disclosure is often framed and debated as a privacy issue because the consequences may be very different for different individuals, some of whom may have their job security or personal security threatened by such disclosure. The act may be viewed as a psychological process or journey;[1] decision-making or risk-taking; a strategy or plan; a mass or public event; a speech act and a matter of personal identity; a rite of passage; liberation or emancipation from oppression; an ordeal;[2] a means toward feeling LGBTQ pride instead of shame and social stigma; or a career-threatening act.[3]
The term coming out of the closet is the source of other gay slang expressions related to voluntary disclosure or lack thereof.[4] LGBTQ people who have already revealed or no longer conceal their sexual orientation or gender identity are out of the closet or simply out, i.e., openly LGBTQ. By contrast, LGBTQ people who have yet to come out or have opted not to do so are labelled as closeted or being in the closet. Outing is the deliberate or accidental disclosure of an LGBTQ person's sexual orientation or gender identity by someone else, without the first individual's consent. By extension, outing oneself is self-disclosure. Glass closet refers to the open secret of a public figure widely thought to be LGBTQ even though the person has not officially come out.[5]
History
[edit]
Between 1864 and 1869, Karl Heinrich Ulrichs wrote a series of pamphlets – as well as giving a lecture to the Association of German Jurists in 1867 – advocating decriminalization of sex acts between men, in which he was candid about his own homosexuality. Historian Robert Beachy has said of him, "I think it is reasonable to describe [Ulrichs] as the first gay person to publicly out himself."[6]
In early 20th-century Germany, "coming out" was labeled as "self-denunciation" and entailed serious legal and reputational risks.[7] In his 1906 work, Das Sexualleben unserer Zeit in seinen Beziehungen zur modernen Kultur (The sexual life of our time in its relation to modern civilization),[8] Iwan Bloch, a German-Jewish physician, entreated elderly homosexuals to self-disclose to their family members and acquaintances. In 1914, Magnus Hirschfeld revisited the topic in his major work The Homosexuality of Men and Women, discussing the social and legal potential of several thousand homosexual men and women of rank, revealing their sexual orientation to the police in order to influence legislators and public opinion.[9] Hirschfeld did not support 'self-denunciation' and dismissed the possibilities of a political movement based on open homosexuals.[7]
The first prominent American to reveal his homosexuality was the poet Robert Duncan. In 1944, using his own name in the anarchist magazine Politics, he wrote that homosexuals were an oppressed minority.[10] The decidedly clandestine Mattachine Society, founded by Harry Hay and other veterans of the Wallace for President campaign in Los Angeles in 1950, moved into the public eye after Hal Call took over the group in San Francisco in 1953. Many gays emerged from the closet there.
In 1951, Donald Webster Cory[11][12] published his landmark The Homosexual in America, saying, "Society has handed me a mask to wear ... Everywhere I go, at all times and before all sections of society, I pretend." Cory was a pseudonym, but his frank and openly subjective descriptions served as a stimulus to the emerging homosexual self-awareness and the nascent homophile movement.
In the 1960s, Frank Kameny came to the forefront of the struggle. Having been fired from his job as an astronomer for the Army Map service in 1957 for homosexual behavior, because it was considered to make people vulnerable to blackmail pressure and endanger secure positions, Kameny refused to go quietly. He openly fought his dismissal, eventually appealing it to the US Supreme Court. As a vocal leader of the growing movement, Kameny argued for unapologetic public actions. The cornerstone of his conviction was that, "we must instill in the homosexual community a sense of worth to the individual homosexual", which could only be achieved through campaigns openly led by homosexuals themselves.
With the spread of consciousness raising (CR) in the late 1960s, coming out became a key strategy of the gay liberation movement to raise political consciousness to counter heterosexism and homophobia. At the same time and continuing into the 1980s, gay and lesbian social support discussion groups, some of which were called "coming-out groups", focused on sharing coming-out "stories" (accounts) with the goal of reducing isolation and increasing LGBTQ visibility and pride.
Etymology
[edit]The present-day expression "coming out" is understood to have originated in the early 20th century from an analogy that likens homosexuals' introduction into gay subculture to a débutante's coming-out party. This is a celebration for a young upper-class woman who is making her début – her formal presentation to society – because she has reached adult age or has become eligible for marriage. As historian George Chauncey points out:
Gay people in the pre-war years [pre-WWI] ... did not speak of coming out of what we call "the gay closet" but rather of coming out into what they called "homosexual society" or the "gay world", a world neither so small, nor so isolated, nor, often, so hidden as "closet" implies.[13]
In fact, as Elizabeth Kennedy observes, "using the term 'closet' to refer to" previous times such as "the 1920s and 1930s might be anachronistic".[14]
An article on coming out[15] in the online encyclopedia glbtq.com states that sexologist Evelyn Hooker's observations introduced the use of "coming out" to the academic community in the 1950s. The article continues by echoing Chauncey's observation that a subsequent shift in connotation occurred later on. The pre-1950s focus was on entrance into "a new world of hope and communal solidarity", whereas the post-Stonewall Riots overtone was an exit from the oppression of the closet.[15] This change in focus suggests that "coming out of the closet" is a mixed metaphor that joins "coming out" with the closet metaphor: an evolution of "skeleton in the closet" specifically referring to living a life of denial and secrecy by concealing one's sexual orientation. The closet metaphor, in turn, is extended to the forces and pressures of heterosexist society and its institutions.
Identity issues
[edit]When coming out is described as a gradual process or a journey,[1] it is meant to include becoming aware of and acknowledging one's gender identity, gender expression, or non-hetero-normative sexual orientation or attraction. This preliminary stage, which involves soul-searching or a personal epiphany,[16] is often called "coming out to oneself" and constitutes the start of self-acceptance. Many LGBTQ people say that this stage began for them during adolescence or childhood, when they first became aware of their sexual orientation toward members of the same sex.
Coming out has also been described as a process because of a recurring need or desire to come out in new situations in which LGBTQ people are assumed to be heterosexual or cisgender, such as at a new job or with new acquaintances. A major frame of reference for those coming out has included using an inside/outside perspective, where some assume that the person can keep their identity or orientation a secret and separate from their outside appearance. This is not as simple as often thought, as Diana Fuss (1991) argues, "the problem of course with the inside/outside rhetoric ... is that such polemics disguise the fact that most of us are both inside and outside at the same time".
LGBTQ identity development
[edit]Every coming out story is the person trying to come to terms with who they are and their sexual orientation.[17] Several models have been created to describe coming out as a process for gay and lesbian identity development, e.g., Dank, 1971; Cass, 1984; Coleman, 1989; Troiden, 1989. Of these models, the most widely accepted is the Cass identity model established by Vivienne Cass.[18] This model outlines six discrete stages transited by individuals who successfully come out: identity confusion, identity comparison, identity tolerance, identity acceptance, identity pride, and identity synthesis. However, not every LGBTQ person follows such a model. For example, some LGBTQ youth become aware of and accept their same-sex desires or gender identity at puberty in a way similar to which heterosexual teens become aware of their sexuality, i.e., free of any notion of difference, stigma or shame in terms of the gender of the people to whom they are attracted.[19] Regardless of whether LGBTQ youth develop their identity based on a model, the typical age at which youth in the United States come out has been dropping. High school students and even middle school students are coming out.[20][21][22]
Emerging research suggests that gay men from religious backgrounds are likely to come out online via Facebook and other social networks, such as blogs, as they offer a protective interpersonal distance. This largely contradicts the growing movement in social media research indicating that online use, particularly Facebook, can lead to negative mental health outcomes such as increased levels of anxiety. While further research is needed to assess whether these results generalize to a larger sample, these recent findings open the door to the possibility that gay men's online experiences may differ from those of heterosexuals in that these may be more likely to provide mental health benefits rather than consequences.[23]
Transgender identity and coming out
[edit]Transgender people vary greatly in choosing when, whether, and how to disclose their transgender status to family, close friends, and others. The prevalence of discrimination[24] and violence against transgender people (in the United States, for example, transgender people are 28 percent more likely to be victims of violence)[25] can make coming out a risky decision. Fear of retaliatory behavior, such as being removed from the parental home while underage, is a reason for transgender people to delay coming out to their families until they have reached adulthood.[26] Parental confusion and lack of acceptance of a transgender child may result in parents treating a newly revealed gender identity as a "phase" or making efforts to change their children back to "normal" by using mental health services to alter the child's gender identity.[27][28]
The internet can play a significant role in the coming out process for transgender people. Some come out in an online identity first, providing an opportunity to go through experiences virtually and safely before risking social sanctions in the real world.[29][30] But, while many trans people find support online that they may not have in real life, others encounter bullying and harassment. According to a study published by Blumenfeld and Cooper in 2012,[31] youth who identify as LGBTQ are 22 percent less likely to report online bullying because they may have parents who do not believe or understand them, or they fear having to come out in order to explain the incident. This further shows the barriers that trans individuals can have when coming out.
Coming out as transgender can be more complex than coming out as a sexual minority. Visible changes that can occur as part of changing one's gender identity – such as wardrobe changes, hormone replacement therapy, and name changes – can make coming out to other people less of a choice. Further, elements that accompany a change in gender can have financial, physical, medical, and legal implications. Additionally, transgender individuals can experience prejudice and rejection from sexual minorities and others in the LGBTQ community, in addition to the larger LGBTQ bias they can face from mainstream culture, which can feel isolating.[30]
Asexual and aromantic identity
[edit]Asexual and aromantic people might experience different challenges when coming out that other individuals in the LGBTQ community may not face.[32] The 2018 National LGBT Survey in the United Kingdom found that only 17 percent of asexuals received positive responses when coming out, in comparison to over 40 percent for other LGBTQ people.[33] A 2016 study found that asexual individuals commonly experienced skepticism and misunderstanding over the existence of their identity when coming out as asexual.[34] A 2024 review by Michael Paramo noted that asexual and aromantic people are commonly tasked with educating people about their identities when coming out because of a lack of understanding over their existence.[35]
Asexual and aromantic people may face risks of sexual assault, coercion, or other pressures to conform to sexual or romantic behavior from their sexual or romantic partners or external to their relationships.[35] They can also experience being rejected by a partner or love interest for being asexual or aromantic, which may make some asexual and aromantic people tentative to come out.[36][37] A 2023 study co-authored by Yasmin Benoit found that asexual people in the UK were unlikely to reveal their identity within healthcare settings for fear of being pressured to conform to sexual behavior.[33] Online role models may be helpful for asexual people when coming out because of a lack of representation surrounding asexuality.[38]
Legal issues
[edit]In areas of the world where homosexual acts are penalized or prohibited, gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people can suffer negative legal consequences for coming out. In particular, where homosexuality is a crime, coming out may constitute self-incrimination. These laws still exist in 75 countries worldwide, including Egypt, Iran, and Afghanistan.
People who decide to come out as non-binary or transgender often face more varied and different issues from a legal standpoint. Worldwide, legally changing your documented gender or name based on your identity is often prohibited or extremely difficult.[39] A major negative effect of the inequality in regulations comes in the form of mental effects, as transgender people who have to legally announce a gender they do not identify with or their dead name can face uncomfortable situations and stress.
Effects
[edit]In the early stages of the LGBTQ identity development process, people can feel confused and undergo turmoil. In 1993, Michelangelo Signorile wrote Queer in America, in which he explored the harm caused both to a closeted person and to society in general by being closeted.[40]
Because LGBTQ people have historically been marginalized as sexual minorities, coming out of the closet remains a challenge for most of the world's LGBTQ population and can lead to a backlash of heterosexist discrimination and violence against LGBTQ people.
Studies have found that concealing sexual orientation is related to poorer mental health,[41] physical health,[42] and relationship functioning. For example, it has been found that same-sex couples who have not come out are not as satisfied in their relationships as same-sex couples who have.[43] Findings from another study indicate that the fewer people who know about a lesbian's sexual orientation, the more anxiety, less positive affectivity, and lower self-esteem she has.[44] Further, Gay.com states that closeted individuals are reported to be at increased risk for suicide.[45]
Depending on the relational bond between parents and children, a child coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender can be positive or negative. Strong, loving relationships between children and their parents may be strengthened but if a relationship is already strained, those relationships may be further damaged or destroyed by the child coming out.[46] If people coming out are accepted by their parents, it allows open discussions of dating and relationships and enables parents to help their children with coping with discrimination and to make healthier decisions regarding HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.[47] Because parents, families, and close others can also reject someone coming out, the LGBTQ individual may not always enjoy positive effects from the decision.[48] For example, teens who had parents who rejected them when they came out showed more drug use, depression, suicide attempts, and risky sexual behaviors later on as young adults.[49] Some studies find that the health effects of coming out depend more on the reactions of parents than on the disclosure itself.[50]
A number of studies have been done on the effect of people coming out to their parents. A 1989 report by Robinson et al. of parents of out gay and lesbian children in the United States found that 21 percent of fathers and 28 percent of mothers had suspected that their child was gay or lesbian, largely based on gender atypical behavior during childhood. The 1989 study found that two-thirds of parents reacted negatively.[51] A 1995 study (that used young people's reactions) found that half of the mothers of gay or bisexual male college students "responded with disbelief, denial or negative comments", while fathers reacted slightly better. 18 percent of parents reacted "with acts of intolerance, attempts to convert the child to heterosexuality, and verbal threats to cut off financial or emotional support".[52]
If rejected by their families, many LGBTQ youth can become homeless during the coming out process. LGBTQ youth are among the largest population of homeless youth; this has typically been caused by the reaction of others, especially parents, to self-identification and acknowledgment of being gay, or identifying with the LGBTQ community.[53] About 20 to 30 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ.[54] Native and Indigenous LGBTQ youth make up the largest population to suffer homelessness: 44 percent, compared to any other race.[55] 55 percent of homeless LGBTQ and 67 percent of homeless transgender youth were forced out of their homes by their parents or ran away because of their sexual orientation or gender identity and expression.[54] Compared to transgender women and non-binary youth, transgender men have the highest percentage of housing instability.[55] Homelessness among LGBTQ youth also affects many areas of an individual's life, leading to higher rates of victimization, depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, risky sexual behavior, and participation in more illegal and dangerous activities.[56] A 2016 study on homelessness pathways among Latino LGBTQ youth found that homelessness among LGBTQ individuals can also be attributed to structural issues such as systems of care, and sociocultural and economic factors.[57]
New data was collected by Amit Paley, the CEO and executive director of the Trevor Project, in regards to how the COVID-19 pandemic affected LGBTQ youth. The 2021 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health shows that COVID-19 had made 80 percent of the LGBTQ youth housing situation much more stressful due to economic struggles, initially affecting their ability to have safe and secure housing.[58]
Jimmie Manning performed a study in 2015 on positive and negative behavior performed during the coming out conversation. During his study, he learned that almost all of his participants would attribute negative behaviors only to themselves during the coming out conversations, and positive behaviors to the recipient of the conversation. Manning suggests further research into this to figure out a way for positive behaviors to be seen and performed equally by both the recipient and the individual coming out.[59]
In/out metaphors
[edit]Dichotomy
[edit]The closet narrative sets up an implicit dualism between being "in" or being "out", wherein those who are "in" are often stigmatized as living false, unhappy lives.[60] Likewise, philosopher and critical analyst Judith Butler (1991) states that the in/out metaphor creates a binary opposition which pretends that the closet is dark, marginal, and false, and that being out in the "light of illumination" reveals a true (or essential) identity. Nonetheless, Butler is willing to appear at events as a lesbian and maintains that "it is possible to argue that ... there remains a political imperative to use these necessary errors or category mistakes ... to rally and represent an oppressed political constituency".
Criticisms
[edit]Diana Fuss (1991) explains, "the problem of course with the inside/outside rhetoric ... is that such polemics disguise the fact that most of us are both inside and outside at the same time". Further, "To be out, in common gay parlance, is precisely to be no longer out; to be out is to be finally outside of exteriority and all the exclusions and deprivations such outsiderhood imposes. Or, put another way, to be out is really to be in – inside the realm of the visible, the speakable, the culturally intelligible." In other words, coming out constructs the closet it supposedly destroys and the self it supposedly reveals, "the first appearance of the homosexual as a 'species' rather than a 'temporary aberration' also marks the moment of the homosexual's disappearance – into the closet".
Furthermore, Seidman, Meeks, and Traschen (1999) argue that "the closet" may be becoming an antiquated metaphor in the lives of modern-day Americans for two reasons.
- Homosexuality is becoming increasingly normalized, and the shame and secrecy often associated with it appears to be in decline.
- The metaphor of the closet hinges upon the notion that stigma management is a way of life, yet stigma management may increasingly be done according to varied situations.
However, when understood as an act of self-disclosure, coming out (like any self-disclosure) cannot be accomplished once, and for all. Eve Sedgwick writes in Epistemology of the Closet:
the deadly elasticity of heterosexist presumption means that … people find new walls springing up around them even as they drowse: every encounter with a new classful of students, to say nothing of a new boss, social worker, loan officer, landlord, doctor, erects new closets whose fraught and characteristic laws of optics and physics exact from at least gay people new surveys, new calculations, new draughts and requisitions of secrecy or disclosure.[61]
As Tony Adams demonstrates in Narrating the Closet, meeting new people makes for a new time to disclose one's sexuality.[62]
National Coming Out Day
[edit]Observed annually on 11 October,[63] by members of the LGBTQ communities and their allies, National Coming Out Day is an international civil awareness day for coming out and discussing LGBTQ issues among the general populace in an effort to give a familiar face to the LGBTQ rights movement. This day inspired the United States government to recognize October as LGBTQ History Month.
The day was founded in 1988, by Robert Eichberg, his partner William Gamble, and Jean O'Leary to celebrate the Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights one year earlier, in which 500,000 people marched on Washington, DC, to promote gay and lesbian equality.
In the United States, the Human Rights Campaign manages the event under the National Coming Out Project, offering resources to LGBTQ individuals, couples, parents, and children, as well as straight friends and relatives, to promote awareness of LGBTQ families living honest and open lives. Candace Gingrich became the spokesperson for the day in April 1995. Although still named "National Coming Out Day", this day is observed in Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, and Switzerland also on 11 October, and in the United Kingdom on 12 October. To celebrate National Coming Out Day on 11 October 2002, Human Rights Campaign released an album bearing the same title as that year's theme: Being Out Rocks. Participating artists include Kevin Aviance, Janis Ian, k.d. lang, Cyndi Lauper, Sarah McLachlan, and Rufus Wainwright.
Media
[edit]Highly publicized comings-out
[edit]Government officials and political candidates
[edit]- In 1983, US House representative Gerry Studds came out as a homosexual during the 1983 congressional page sex scandal.
- In 1987, Barney Frank, a United States House representative, publicly came out as gay,[64] the second member of the Massachusetts delegation to the United States Congress to do so.
- In 1988, Svend Robinson was the first member of House of Commons of Canada to come out.
- In 1999, Australian senator Brian Greig came out as being gay in his maiden speech to parliament, the first politician to do so in that country.
- In 2004, New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey announced his decision to resign and publicly came out as "a gay American".[65][66] He acknowledged having had an extramarital affair with a man, Golan Cipel, an Israeli citizen and veteran of the Israeli Defense Forces. As McGreevey had appointed him as the New Jersey homeland security adviser, he had created a conflict of interest with the affair.
- In 2024, Sarah McBride was elected to represent Delaware's at-large congressional district, becoming the first openly transgender member of the United States Congress.[67][68]
Athletes
[edit]The first US professional team-sport athlete to come out was David Kopay, a former NFL running back who had played for five teams (San Francisco, Detroit, Washington, New Orleans and Green Bay) between 1964 and 1972. He came out in 1975 in an interview in the Washington Star.[69]
The first professional athlete to come out while still playing was Czech-American tennis player Martina Navratilova, who came out as a lesbian during an interview with The New York Times in 1981.[69] English footballer Justin Fashanu came out in 1990 and was subject to homophobic taunts from spectators, opponents and teammates for the rest of his career.
In 1995 while at the peak of his playing career, Ian Roberts became the first high-profile Australian sports person and first rugby footballer in the world to come out as gay.[70] John Amaechi, who played in the NBA with the Utah Jazz, Orlando Magic and Cleveland Cavaliers (as well as internationally with Panathinaikos BC of the Greek Basketball League and Kinder Bologna of the Italian Basketball League), came out in February 2007 on ESPN's Outside the Lines program. He also wrote a memoir, Man in the Middle, published by ESPN Books, which explores his professional and personal life as a closeted basketball player. He was the first NBA player (former or current) to come out.
In 2008, Australian diver Matthew Mitcham became the first openly gay athlete to win an Olympic gold medal. He achieved this at the Beijing Olympics in the men's 10-meter platform event.[71]
The first Irish county GAA player to come out while still playing was hurler Dónal Óg Cusack in October 2009, in previews of his autobiography.[72] Gareth Thomas, who played international rugby union and rugby league for Wales, came out in a Daily Mail interview in December 2009 near the end of his career.[73]
In 2013, American basketball player Jason Collins (a member of the Washington Wizards) came out as gay, becoming the first active male professional athlete in a major North American team sport to publicly come out as gay.
On 15 August 2013, WWE wrestler Darren Young came out, making him the first openly gay active professional wrestler.
On 9 February 2014, former Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam came out as gay. He was drafted by the St. Louis Rams on 10 May 2014, with the 249th overall pick in the seventh round, making him the first openly gay player to be drafted by an NFL franchise. He was released by St. Louis and waived by the Dallas Cowboys practice squad. Sam was on the roster for the Montreal Alouettes, but has since retired from football.
On 21 June 2021, Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib announced on his Instagram account that he is gay, becoming the first active NFL player to come out publicly.[74][75]
In October 2021, professional soccer player Josh Cavallo came out as gay via videos posted to his team's social media accounts, becoming the only openly gay top-level professional soccer player in the world.[76]
In May 2022, Blackpool F.C. forward Jake Daniels came out as gay, becoming the first active male British footballer to do so since Justin Fashanu in 1990.[77]
In February 2023, Czech footballer Jakub Jankto, then a AC Sparta Prague midfielder on loan from Spanish side Getafe CF announced he was gay on Twitter, becoming the first male footballer to come out while an active international player.[78]
Artists and entertainers
[edit]In 1997 on The Oprah Winfrey Show, American comedian Ellen DeGeneres came out as a lesbian. Her real-life coming out was echoed in the sitcom Ellen in "The Puppy Episode", in which her character Ellen Morgan outs herself over the airport public address system.
On 29 March 2010, Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin came out publicly in a post on his official web site, stating, "I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am."[79] Martin said that "these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed."[80] Singer Adam Lambert came out after pictures of him kissing another man were publicly circulated while he was a participant on the eighth season of American Idol. In January 2013, while accepting the honorary Golden Globe Cecil B. DeMille Award, American actress and director Jodie Foster made the first public acknowledgment of her sexual orientation, saying; "I already did my coming out a thousand years ago, in the Stone Age, in those very quaint days when a fragile young girl would open up to friends and family and co-workers then gradually to everyone that knew her, everyone she actually met."[81]
Military personnel
[edit]In 1975, Leonard Matlovich, while serving in the United States Air Force, came out to challenge the US military's policies banning service by homosexuals. Widespread coverage included a Time magazine cover story and a television movie on NBC.[82][83]
In 2011, as the US prepared to lift restrictions on service by openly gay people, Senior Airman Randy Phillips conducted a social media campaign to garner support for coming out. The video he posted on YouTube of the conversation in which he told his father he was gay went viral.[84] In one journalist's summation, he "masterfully used social media and good timing to place himself at the centre of a civil rights success story".[85]
Pastors
[edit]In October 2010, megachurch pastor Bishop Jim Swilley came out to his congregation. The YouTube video of the service went viral. Interviews with People magazine,[86] Joy Behar,[87] Don Lemon[88] ABC News[89] and NPR[90] focused on bullycides[91] which Bishop Swilley said had prompted him to "come out". One year later, he confirmed the costs but also the freedom he has experienced. "To be able to have freedom is something that I wouldn't trade anything for."[92] "Being married as yourself, preaching as yourself and living your life as yourself is infinitely better than doing those things as someone else."[93]
Bishop Swilley's son, Jared Swilley, bass player and front man of Black Lips, said, "It was definitely shocking, but I was actually glad when he told me. I feel closer to him now".[94] Bishop Swilley's second son, Judah Swilley, a cast member on the Oxygen show Preachers of Atlanta, is confronting homophobia in the church.[95]
Journalists
[edit]In August 2019, Nicky Bandini, a sportswriter and broadcaster contributing at The Guardian and ESPN came out as transgender, saying that she had previously written under the name Paolo Bandini. She posted a Twitter video and published an opinion piece in The Guardian, saying that it took her several years to come out as transgender. Bandini said she had dealt with gender dysphoria for three-and-a-half decades before finally admitting her status as a trans woman to the world.[96]
Depictions of coming out
[edit]In 1987, a two-part episode of the Quebec television series Avec un grand A, "Lise, Pierre et Marcel", depicted a married closeted man who has to come out when his wife discovers that he has been having an affair with another man. In 1996, the acclaimed British film Beautiful Thing had a positive take in its depiction of two teenage boys coming to terms with their sexual identity.
Author Rodger Streitmatter described Ellen DeGeneres's coming out in the media as well as a 1997 episode of Ellen, "The Puppy Episode", as "rank[ing], hands down, as the single most public exit in gay history", changing media portrayals of lesbians in Western culture.[97] In 1999, Russell T Davies's Queer as Folk, a popular TV series shown on the UK's Channel 4, debuted and focused primarily on the lives of young gay men; in particular on a 15-year-old going through the process of revealing his sexuality to those around him. This storyline was also featured prominently in the US version of Queer as Folk, which debuted in 2000.
The television show The L Word, which debuted in 2004, focuses on the lives of a group of lesbian and bisexual women. The theme of coming out is prominently featured in the storylines of multiple characters.
In the Emmy Award-nominated episode "Gay Witch Hunt" of The Office, Michael inadvertently outs Oscar to the whole office.
Coming Out, which debuted in 2013, is the first Quebec television program about being gay.[98]
Amazon's 2014 series Transparent features a trans woman who comes out to her adult children at the age of 75, and follows her social transition process.[citation needed] The show highlights various reactions from the woman's social circle to her coming out, as well as the many adjustments in language and gender expression that she uses to make her transition. Main character Maura is played by Jeffrey Tambor; the show was criticized by some for casting a cisgender man as a transgender woman.[citation needed]
The third season of the Norwegian teen drama series Skam, released in 2015, focused on a main character coming out and his relationship with another boy.
The film Love, Simon, based on the book Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, debuted in 2018. It is the first major studio film about a gay teenager coming out.[99]
In 2020, a second adaption, called Love, Victor, began airing on Hulu. The TV series refers to both the Love, Simon film and the Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda book. The series premiered its third season in 2022. The series continued and expanded its original story with another young and closeted student.
Extended use in LGBTQ media, publishing and activism
[edit]"Out" is a common word or prefix used in the titles of LGBTQ-themed books, films, periodicals, organizations, and TV programs. Some high-profile examples are Out magazine, the defunct OutWeek, and OutTV.
Non-LGBTQ contexts
[edit]In political, casual, or even humorous contexts, coming out means by extension the self-disclosure of a person's secret behaviors, beliefs, affiliations, tastes, identities, and interests that may cause astonishment or bring shame. Some examples include: "coming out as an alcoholic",[100] "coming out as a BDSM participant",[101] "coming out of the broom closet" (as a witch),[102] "coming out as a conservative",[103] "coming out as disabled",[104] "coming out as a liberal",[105] "coming out as intersex",[106] "coming out as multiple",[107] "coming out as polyamorous",[108] "coming out as a sex worker",[109] and "coming out of the shadows" as an undocumented immigrant within the United States.[110] The term is also used by members of online body integrity dysphoria communities to refer to the process of telling friends and families about their condition.
With its associated metaphors, the figure of speech has also been extended to atheism, e.g., "coming out as an atheist".[111] A public awareness initiative for freethought and atheism, entitled the "Out Campaign", makes ample use of the "out" metaphor.[112] This campaign was initiated by Robin Elisabeth Cornwell, and is endorsed by prominent atheist Richard Dawkins, who stated "there is a big closet population of atheists who need to 'come out'".[113]
Impact of COVID-19 pandemic
[edit]During the COVID-19 pandemic, the order of people to whom LGBTQ children revealed their identity was impacted. Traditionally, children confide in friends before going to their families, but this order has been reversed. It is emphasized that even in these cases, children only tell their families first if they are accepting.[114]
The shift in global circumstances during the pandemic has played a role in the coming out experience for a great number of LGBTQ people. Many were forced to be in unaccepting environments during this time. American LGBTQ people faced a higher risk for negative consequences from the pandemic than their straight counterparts. A lower percentage of these individuals have health coverage, a higher percentage smoke, and a higher percentage maintain employment in vulnerable industries. All of these factors contribute to worse consequences for this population during the pandemic.[115]
The LGBTQ community saw increased feelings of isolation during this time, impacting their coming out experiences. Many individuals described how they lacked an avenue in which to connect with the LGBTQ community, reducing their ability to gain confidence in their identity. Researchers argue that this is seriously detrimental to an already isolated community.[115] However, the ample time for reflection proved beneficial for some individuals regarding their self-image and discovery. Some people were able to come to terms with their identity and increase their confidence as a result. Others felt like the increase in the community's online presence has allowed for more interaction with the community than before.[116]
The lack of in-person celebrations during Pride Month, which is typically held in June, affected the connectedness of the community. These circumstances affecting this important time for the community have reduced the confidence in which LGBTQ people feel comfortable sharing their identities. These face-to-face events are argued to be community-building events. Researchers argue that a crucial aspect of their support system has vanished without them.[117]
These unprecedented global circumstances may have caused individuals to potentially postpone their coming out, influencing their unique stories. It describes how the pandemic has forced many LGBTQ youth to remain in non-accepting households. This, they argue, may also delay their coming out process as well.[118] Mental health may also have been affected as a result of being stuck in these environments.[119] LGBTQ adults faced unique challenges compared to their youth counterparts. Significant job loss compared to non-LGBTQ counterparts occurred, affecting their economic vitality, whereas much of the youth population was forced to remain at home.[120]
There are several instances of the openness of the LGBTQ identity being a disadvantage in the pandemic setting among various countries. In the Philippines, a lesbian couple did not receive food aid during the pandemic because they did not fit the traditional definition of a family. In this instance, the disclosure of their identity did not prove to be in their best interests. The country also resorted to public humiliation when dealing with three gay men who broke the curfew rules.[121]
In terms of gender minorities, several disruptions occurred within the medical environment hindering gender-affirming procedures. Many interruptions occurred with in-person appointments as well. Economic disparities have also played a role in the transgender experience.[122]
See also
[edit]References
[edit]- ^ a b "Coming Out: A Journey". Utah Pride Center. Archived from the original on 25 August 2009. Retrieved 24 June 2009.
- ^ "GAA star Donal Og Cusack: Teammates helped me through ordeal of revealing I am gay". Belfast Telegraph. 20 October 2009. Archived from the original on 12 March 2023. Retrieved 16 January 2012.
- ^ Grant, Japhy (20 February 2009). "Rupert Everett Says Coming Out Killed His Career". Queerty. Archived from the original on 15 October 2010.
- ^ Adams, Tony E. (2011). Narrating the Closet: An Autoethnography of Same-Sex Attraction. Walnut Creek, CA: Left Coast Press. ISBN 978-1-59874-620-4.
- ^ Musto, Michael (22 September 2008). "The Glass Closet". Out. Archived from the original on 5 July 2012.
- ^ Stack, Liam (1 July 2020). "Overlooked No More: Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, Pioneering Gay Activist". The New York Times. Archived from the original on 4 July 2020. Retrieved 4 July 2020.
- ^ a b Marhoefer, Laurie (Fall 2019). "Did Sex Bring Down the Weimar Republic?". Bulletin of the GHI Washington (65): 59–71. ISSN 1048-9134.
- ^ Bloch, Ivan (1906). Das Sexualleben unserer Zeit in seinen Beziehungen zur modernen Kultur. [The sexual life of our time in its relations to modern civilization], 1910.
- ^ Johansson&Percy, p. 24
- ^ "Robert Duncan and Romantic Synthesis: A Few Notes" Archived 6 September 2010 at the Wayback Machine. This article also republished as "On Robert Duncan" at Modern American Poetry website
- ^ "Donald Webster Cory". glbtq.com. Archived from the original on 6 June 2009. Retrieved 7 May 2018.
- ^ "Sagarin bio". Glbtq.com. 18 September 1913. Archived from the original on 6 June 2009. Retrieved 24 June 2009.
- ^ Chauncey, George (1994). Gay New York: gender, urban culture, and the makings of the gay male world, 1890–1940. New York. p. 7. ISBN 978-0-7867-2335-5. OCLC 298105088.
{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: location missing publisher (link) - ^ Kennedy, Elizabeth. "'But We Would Never Talk about It': The Structure of Lesbian Discretion in South Dakota, 1928–1933" in Inventing Lesbian Cultures in America, ed. Ellen Lewin (1996). Boston: Beacon Press. pp. 25, 214
- ^ a b "Coming Out". glbtq.com. 31 August 2009. Archived from the original on 14 October 2014. Retrieved 8 October 2014.
- ^ "Gay Epiphany". Archived from the original on 14 October 2014. Retrieved 8 October 2014.
- ^ Chirrey, Deborah (2003). "I Hereby Come Out: What Sort Of Speech Act Is Coming Out?". Journal of Sociolinguistics. 7 (1): 24–37. doi:10.1111/1467-9481.00209.
- ^ "Sexual Identity: The Case Model" (PDF). Archived from the original (PDF) on 25 March 2016. Retrieved 19 April 2021.
- ^ "LGBT Coming Out of the Closet News and Information". Sexual Diversity. January 2019. Retrieved 10 October 2022.
- ^ Salon: Amy Benfer, "We're here! We're queer! We're 13!", September 24, 2009 Archived 27 September 2009 at the Wayback Machine, accessed 16 January 2012
- ^ Denizet-Lewis, Benoit (27 September 2009). "Coming Out in Middle School". The New York Times Magazine. Archived from the original on 13 May 2011. Retrieved 30 April 2010.
- ^ Coming Out Younger Archived 8 July 2013 at the Wayback Machine, Jezebel.com article.
- ^ Etengoff, C. & Daiute, C. (2015). "Online Coming Out Communications between Gay Men and their Religious Family Allies: A Family of Choice and Origin Perspective", Journal of GLBT Family Studies.
- ^ "Groundbreaking Report Reflects Persistent Discrimination Against Transgender Community". GLAAD. 4 February 2011. Archived from the original on 3 August 2011. Retrieved 21 April 2021.
- ^ Bolles, Alexandra (4 June 2012). "Violence Against Transgender People and People of Color is Disproportionately High, LGBTQH Murder Rate Peaks". GLAAD. Archived from the original on 28 December 2015. Retrieved 16 December 2015.
- ^ Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. "Sassafras Lowrey's Kicked Out Anthology Shares Stories of LGBTQ Youth Homelessness" Archived 4 August 2011 at the Wayback Machine, "GLAAD", US, 25 February 2010. Retrieved 25 February 2011.
- ^ "Coming Out to Family as Transgender". Human Rights Campaign. Archived from the original on 3 January 2011. Retrieved 5 December 2010.
- ^ "Transgender Children & Youth: Understanding the Basics | Human Rights Campaign". Human Rights Campaign. Archived from the original on 10 September 2017. Retrieved 23 August 2017.
- ^ Marciano, A. (2014). "Living the VirtuReal: Negotiating transgender identity in cyberspace". Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication. 19 (4): 824–838. doi:10.1111/jcc4.12081.
- ^ a b Stitt, Alex (2020). ACT For Gender Identity: The Comprehensive Guide. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers. ISBN 978-1785927997. OCLC 1089850112.
- ^ Cooper, Robyn M.; Blumenfeld, Warren J. (April 2012). "Responses to Cyberbullying: A Descriptive Analysis of the Frequency of and Impact on LGBT and Allied Youth". Journal of LGBT Youth. 9 (2): 153–177. doi:10.1080/19361653.2011.649616. ISSN 1936-1653. S2CID 144818660.
- ^ Smith, Reiss (6 April 2023). "Being asexual can mean feeling like an outsider – even in the LGBTQ+ community". PinkNews. Archived from the original on 8 April 2024. Retrieved 10 February 2024.
- ^ a b "Only 1 in 10 Asexual People in the UK Are Out at Work, New Report Finds". Them. 8 November 2023. Archived from the original on 30 November 2023. Retrieved 10 February 2024.
- ^ Robbins, Nicolette K.; Low, Kathryn Graff; Query, Anna N. (2016). "A Qualitative Exploration of the 'Coming Out' Process for Asexual Individuals". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 45 (3): 751–760. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0561-x. ISSN 1573-2800. PMID 26334774. S2CID 27894762.
- ^ a b Paramo, Michael (2024). Ending the Pursuit: Asexuality, Aromanticism and Agender Identity. Unbound Publishing. pp. 10–12, 36. ISBN 978-1-80018-286-8.
- ^ "Understanding Asexuality". The Trevor Project. 2021. Archived from the original on 5 April 2024. Retrieved 14 March 2024.
- ^ "What Does Aromantic Mean?". WebMD. Archived from the original on 26 March 2023. Retrieved 14 March 2024.
- ^ Jones, Catriona; Hayter, Mark; Jomeen, Julie (2017). "Understanding asexual identity as a means to facilitate culturally competent care: A systematic literature review". Journal of Clinical Nursing. 26 (23–24): 3811–3831. doi:10.1111/jocn.13862. ISSN 0962-1067. PMID 28430404.
- ^ "The Best Ways to Achieve Trans Equality". www.opensocietyfoundations.org. Archived from the original on 19 November 2018. Retrieved 20 November 2019.
- ^ re-released in 2003 by University of Wisconsin Press, ISBN 0-299-19374-8
- ^ Pachankis, John E. (2007). "The psychological implications of concealing a stigma: A cognitive-affective-behavioral model". Psychological Bulletin. 133 (2): 328–345. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.133.2.328. ISSN 1939-1455. PMID 17338603. S2CID 12836716.
- ^ Cole, Steve W.; Kemeny, Margaret E.; Taylor, Shelley E.; Visscher, Barbara R. (1996). "Elevated physical health risk among gay men who conceal their homosexual identity". Health Psychology. 15 (4): 243–251. doi:10.1037/0278-6133.15.4.243. ISSN 0278-6133. PMID 8818670.
- ^ Berger, RM (1990). "Passing: Impact on the quality of same-sex couple relationships". Social Work. 35 (4): 328–332. PMID 2392712.
- ^ Jordan, KM; Deluty, RH (1998). "Coming out for lesbian women: Its relation to anxiety, positive affectivity, self-esteem, and social support". Journal of Homosexuality. 35 (2): 41–63. doi:10.1300/J082v35n02_03. PMID 9524921.
- ^ "Study: Closeted men at suicide risk". Gay.com. 4 May 2007. Archived from the original on 6 May 2007. Retrieved 21 April 2021.
- ^ Linda Nielsen (2012). Father-Daughter Relationships: Contemporary Research and Issues. Routledge. p. 255. ISBN 978-1-84872-933-9. Retrieved 25 October 2012.
- ^ Mary Ann Lamanna; Agnes Riedmann; Ann Strahm (2011). Marriages, Families, and Relationships: Making Choices in a Diverse Society. Cengage Learning. p. 265. ISBN 978-1-111-30154-5. Retrieved 25 October 2012.
- ^ Legate, Nicole; Ryan, Richard M.; Weinstein, Netta (March 2012). "Is Coming Out Always a 'Good Thing'? Exploring the Relations of Autonomy Support, Outness, and Wellness for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Individuals". Social Psychological and Personality Science. 3 (2): 145–152. doi:10.1177/1948550611411929. ISSN 1948-5506. S2CID 52215152.
- ^ Ryan, C.; Huebner, D.; Diaz, R. M.; Sanchez, J. (1 January 2009). "Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young Adults". Pediatrics. 123 (1): 346–352. doi:10.1542/peds.2007-3524. ISSN 0031-4005. PMID 19117902. S2CID 33361972.
- ^ D'Augelli, Anthony R (1 July 2002). "Mental Health Problems among Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Youths Ages 14 to 21". Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 7 (3): 433–456. doi:10.1177/1359104502007003039. ISSN 0000-0000.
- ^ Robinson, BE; Walters, LH; Skeen, P (1989). "Response of parents to learning that their child is homosexual and concern over AIDS: a national study". Journal of Homosexuality. 18 (1–2): 59–80. doi:10.1300/j082v18n01_03. PMID 2794499.
- ^ Savin-Williams, Ritch; Eric M. Dubé (January 1998). "Parental Reactions to Their Child's Disclosure of a Gay/Lesbian Identity". Family Relations. 47 (1): 7–13. doi:10.2307/584845. JSTOR 584845.
- ^ Tierney, William G.; Ward, James Dean (December 2017). "Coming Out and Leaving Home: A Policy and Research Agenda for LGBT Homeless Students". Educational Researcher. 46 (9): 498–507. doi:10.3102/0013189x17733964. ISSN 0013-189X. S2CID 148753736.
- ^ a b Choi, Soon Kyu; Wilson, Bianca DM; Shelton, Jama; Gates, Gary J (1 June 2015). "Serving Our Youth 2015: The Needs and Experiences of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Youth Experiencing Homelessness". eScholarship. Archived from the original on 19 February 2021. Retrieved 17 August 2018.
- ^ a b "Homelessness and Housing Instability Among LGBTQ Youth". The Trevor Project. 3 February 2023. Archived from the original on 30 March 2023. Retrieved 28 March 2023.
- ^ Reck, Jen (20 July 2009). "Homeless Gay and Transgender Youth of Color in San Francisco: "No One Likes Street Kids" – Even in the Castro". Journal of LGBT Youth. 6 (2–3): 223–242. doi:10.1080/19361650903013519. ISSN 1936-1653. S2CID 143765694.
- ^ Castellanos, H. Daniel (26 October 2015). "The Role of Institutional Placement, Family Conflict, and Homosexuality in Homelessness Pathways Among Latino LGBT Youth in New York City". Journal of Homosexuality. 63 (5): 601–632. doi:10.1080/00918369.2015.1111108. ISSN 0091-8369. PMC 4930864. PMID 26503713.
- ^ Paley, Amit (2021). "National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health 2021". The Trevor Project. Archived from the original on 30 March 2023. Retrieved 28 March 2023.
- ^ Manning, Jimmie (2015). "Positive and Negative Communicative Behaviors in Coming-out Conversations". Journal of Homosexuality. 62 (1): 61–97. doi:10.1080/00918369.2014.957127. PMID 25153806. S2CID 11388612.
- ^ Seidman, Meeks, and Traschen (1999)
- ^ Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky (1990). Epistemology of the Closet. Berkeley: University of California Press. p. 68. ISBN 0520070429. Archived from the original on 7 March 2024. Retrieved 6 March 2024.
- ^ Adams, Tony E. (2011). Narrating the Closet: An Autoethnography of Same-sex Attraction. Walnut Creek, CA: Left Coast Press. p. 107. ISBN 978-1-59874-620-4. Archived from the original on 7 March 2024. Retrieved 6 March 2024.
- ^ "History of National Coming Out Day". Human Rights Campaign. Archived from the original on 12 October 2008. Retrieved 17 October 2008.
- ^ "Representative Frank Discloses He Is Homosexual". The New York Times. 31 May 1987. Archived from the original on 6 December 2008. Retrieved 19 October 2008.
- ^ Kohen, Yael (13 August 2004). "McGreevey to Quit, Declares 'I Am a Gay American'". The New York Sun. Archived from the original on 13 February 2020. Retrieved 10 March 2008.
- ^ "McGreevey: 'I am a gay American'". CNN. 13 August 2004. Archived from the original on 17 April 2008. Retrieved 10 March 2008.
- ^ "AP Race Call: Democrat Sarah McBride wins election to U.S. House in Delaware's 1st Congressional District". AP News. 6 November 2024. Archived from the original on 7 November 2024. Retrieved 6 November 2024.
- ^ "Delaware's Sarah McBride prepares to become first openly transgender member of Congress, hoping for grace - CBS Philadelphia". www.cbsnews.com. 2 January 2025. Retrieved 3 January 2025.
- ^ a b "The Brief History of Gay Athletes". ESPN. 18 December 1998. Archived from the original on 10 July 2009. Retrieved 19 September 2009.
- ^ Peter, O'Shea (3 October 1995). "Out of the field". The Advocate. Here Publishing. Retrieved 10 October 2011.
- ^ "Macklemore singing at grand final like 'seeping sewage into debutante ball'". Australian Broadcasting Corporation. 28 September 2017. Archived from the original on 30 September 2017. Retrieved 7 May 2018.
- ^ "I'm gay, reveals GAA star Donal Og Cusack in new autobiography". Belfast Telegraph. 19 October 2009. Archived from the original on 29 December 2010. Retrieved 28 February 2011.
- ^ Smith, Gary (3 May 2010). "Gareth Thomas ... The Only Openly Gay Male Athlete". Sports Illustrated. Archived from the original on 2 May 2010.
- ^ Price, Christopher (21 June 2021). "Raiders' Carl Nassib comes out as gay; is first active NFL player to do so". The Boston Globe. Archived from the original on 21 June 2021. Retrieved 21 June 2021.
- ^ Belson, Ken (21 June 2021). "Raiders' Carl Nassib Announces He's Gay, an N.F.L. First". The New York Times. Archived from the original on 21 September 2021. Retrieved 22 June 2021.
- ^ @AdelaideUnited (27 October 2021). "Josh's Truth" (Tweet) – via Twitter.
- ^ "Jake Daniels: Blackpool forward becomes UK's first active male professional footballer to come out publicly as gay". Sky Sports. Archived from the original on 19 June 2022. Retrieved 13 October 2023.
- ^ "Czech midfielder Jankto comes out as gay". BBC Sport. Retrieved 13 October 2023.
- ^ "Ricky Martin Comes Out: 'I'm A Fortunate Homosexual Man'". HuffPost. 29 May 2010. Archived from the original on 10 April 2010. Retrieved 26 April 2020.
- ^ "Ricky Martin Comes Out of the Closet". Rolling Stone. 29 March 2010. Archived from the original on 16 October 2014. Retrieved 8 October 2014.
- ^ "Jodie Foster's Stirring Golden Globes Speech: 'I Already Did My Coming Out a Thousand Years Ago' (Video)". The Hollywood Reporter. 13 January 2013. Retrieved 13 January 2013.
- ^ "I Am a Homosexual". Time. 8 September 1975. Archived from the original on 31 May 2012.
- ^ Steve Kornacki (1 December 2010). "The Air Force vs. the 'practicing homosexual'". Salon.com. Archived from the original on 3 December 2010. Retrieved 16 January 2012.
- ^ NBC News: "Soldier tells dad he's gay on YouTube", September 20, 2011 Archived 27 April 2025 at the Wayback Machine, accessed 16 January 2012
- ^ "Archie Comics' storyline has nothing on Randy Phillips". Guelph Mercury. 29 September 2011. Retrieved 16 January 2012.
- ^ "Bishop Jim Swilley: A Minister Comes Out". Archived from the original on 18 March 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Joy Behar Talks To Gay Bishop Jim Swilley & His Ex-Wife Debye Swilley". YouTube. 10 November 2010. Archived from the original on 17 July 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Don Lemon Talks To Gay Bishop Jim Swilley". CNN. Archived from the original on 21 February 2015. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "MegaChurch Pastor Declares He's Gay". ABC News. Archived from the original on 23 March 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Out Of The Closet ... In The Pulpit Of A Megachurch". NPR.org. NPR All Things Considered. Archived from the original on 24 March 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Georgia Megachurch Pastor Jim Swilley: I'm Gay, And I'm Telling You Because Of Those Bullycides". Queerty. 29 October 2010. Archived from the original on 22 March 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Gay Ga. mega-church pastor reflects on year of coming out". The GAVoice. 11 November 2011. Archived from the original on 23 March 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Five years later: The Swilleys on family, coming out and inclusive LGBT ministries". The GAVoice. 22 January 2016. Archived from the original on 25 March 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Black Lips' Swilley discusses father's recent coming out". Creative Loafing Atlanta. Archived from the original on 7 November 2010. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "Preachers of Atlanta Episode Guide". 19 November 2015. Archived from the original on 10 March 2016. Retrieved 16 March 2016.
- ^ "I'm Nicky Bandini – and I'm still a sports writer". The Guardian. Retrieved 16 August 2019.
- ^ Streitmatter, Rodger (2009). From 'Perverts' to 'Fab Five': The Media's Changing Depiction of Gay Men and Lesbians, Routledge. ISBN 0-7890-3670-3; p. 104.
- ^ "Coming out – Première série web sur l'univers gai québécois". Info-Culture.biz. 2 April 2013. Archived from the original on 14 October 2014. Retrieved 8 October 2014.
- ^ Lawson, Richard. "Love, Simon Is a Charming Gay Studio Movie That Makes Us Hungry for More". HWD. Archived from the original on 29 March 2018. Retrieved 14 March 2018.
- ^ Theroux, Louis (3 November 2001). "The show must go on". Guardian. London. Archived from the original on 24 December 2013. Retrieved 24 June 2009.
- ^ "Coming out BDSM: upsides and downsides". Clarisse Thorn. Archived from the original on 3 October 2014. Retrieved 8 October 2014.
- ^ "How do I tell my family I'm a Wiccan?". Slate.com. 4 December 2003. Archived from the original on 10 June 2009. Retrieved 24 June 2009.
- ^ Richardson, Valerie (2004). "Coming-out day for conservatives". The Washington Times. Archived from the original on 6 February 2007.
- ^ "Coming out as disabled". Ekklesia. 10 October 2011. Archived from the original on 27 June 2015. Retrieved 22 January 2015.
- ^ "Layout 1 (Page A1)" (PDF). Archived from the original (PDF) on 2 November 2014. Retrieved 13 September 2017.
- ^ "The LA radio host who came out as intersex and why no one gossiped". Gay Star News. 18 July 2013. Archived from the original on 13 October 2014. Retrieved 8 October 2014.
- ^ "COMPD – Introduction". 2multiples.com. Retrieved 24 June 2009. [dead link]
- ^ "Polyamorists Come Out of the Closet – National Review Online". National Review Online. 18 June 2014. Archived from the original on 6 October 2014. Retrieved 8 October 2014.
- ^ "What It's Like to Come Out of the Hooker Closet". Archived from the original on 14 October 2014. Retrieved 9 December 2018.
- ^ Corrunker, Laura (1 January 2012). ""Coming Out of the Shadows": DREAM Act Activism in the Context of Global Anti-Deportation Activism". Indiana Journal of Global Legal Studies. 19 (1): 143–168. doi:10.2979/indjglolegstu.19.1.143. ISSN 1543-0367. S2CID 154084010. Archived from the original on 19 September 2016.
- ^ "U.S. Rep. Pete Stark "Comes Out" as an Atheist". Harvard Law Record. Archived from the original on 4 June 2009. Retrieved 24 June 2009.
- ^ "The Out Campaign (original announcement)". The Official Richard Dawkins Website. 30 July 2007. Archived from the original on 30 April 2008. Retrieved 30 December 2007.
- ^ MacAskill, Ewen (1 October 2007). "Atheists arise: Dawkins spreads the A-word among America's unbelievers". Guardian Unlimited. London: The Guardian. Archived from the original on 22 December 2007. Retrieved 30 December 2007.
- ^ "Coming out as LGBTQ during COVID-19: What's different?". Children's Minnesota. 8 April 2021. Retrieved 27 February 2025.
- ^ a b "The Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic on LGBT Communities in the UK". LGBT Foundation (3rd Edition). May 2020.
- ^ Stitt-Fredericks, Isabelle (2022). "LGBTQ+ Experiences with the COVID-19 Pandemic". KnightScholar. 2021.
- ^ Orea-Giner, Alicia; Ong, Faith; Recio-Moreno, Gonzalo (22 July 2024). "Silencing the Rainbow: The Territorial Effects of Pride Cancellation". Event Management. 28 (6): 863–881. doi:10.3727/152599524X17077053867836. ISSN 1525-9951.
- ^ "Implications of COVID-19 for LGBTQ Youth Mental Health and Suicide Prevention" (PDF). The Trevor Project. Retrieved 27 February 2025.
- ^ A. Gattamorta, Karina; Salerno, John P.; Roman Laporte, Roberto (8 August 2022). "Family Rejection during COVID-19: Effects on Sexual and Gender Minority Stress and Mental Health among LGBTQ University Students". LGBTQ+ Family. 18 (4): 305–318. doi:10.1080/27703371.2022.2083041. ISSN 2770-3371. PMC 10162589. PMID 37151804.
- ^ Dawson, Lindsey; Kirzinger, Ashley; Published, Jennifer Kates (11 March 2021). "The Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic on LGBT People". KFF. Retrieved 27 February 2025.
- ^ "The New Humanitarian | How COVID-19 aid is leaving LGBTQ+ people out". www.thenewhumanitarian.org. 24 June 2020. Archived from the original on 27 February 2025. Retrieved 27 February 2025.
- ^ "The Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic on the Transgender Community, and What You Can Do About It | The Clayman Institute for Gender Research". gender.stanford.edu. 26 April 2023. Retrieved 27 February 2025.
Further reading
[edit]- Argent, Jay (2017) Coming Out: High School Boys Share Their Stories. [Charleston]: CreateSpace Independent Publishing. ISBN 978-1547151936
- Beasley, Neil (2016) Football's Coming Out: Life as a Gay Fan and Player. [London]: Floodlit Dreams Ltd. ISBN 978-0992658564
- Berube, Allan (2010) Coming Out under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women in World War Two (2nd ed.). Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press. ISBN 978-0807871775
- Blaschke, Ronny (2008) Versteckspieler: Die Geschichte des schwulen Fußballers Marcus Urban. Göttingen: Verlag Die Werkstatt. ISBN 978-3895336119
- Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt, When Someone You Love Is Kinky. Greenery Press, 2000. ISBN 1-890159-23-9.
- Kinsella, Vinne (2016) Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life. Portland: Eldredge Books ISBN 978-0997749106
- LaSala, Michael (2010) Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child. New York: Columbia University Press. ISBN 978-0231143837
- McCall Tigert, Leanne; Brown, Timothy (2001). Coming Out Young and Faithful. Cleveland, Ohio: Pilgrim Press. ISBN 9780829814149. OCLC 45958034.
- Rogers, Robbie; Marcus, Eric (2014) Coming Out to Play. London: The Robson Press. ISBN 978-1849547208
- Seidman, Steven. Beyond the Closet: The Transformation of Gay and Lesbian Life. Routledge, 2003. ISBN 0-415-93207-6.
- Stramel, James. Gay Virtue: The Ethics of Disclosure. Dissertation, University of Southern California, 1996.
Coming out
View on GrokipediaDefinition and Etymology
Core Concept and Variations
Coming out refers to the voluntary disclosure by an individual of their sexual orientation or gender identity when it deviates from heterosexual norms or biological sex, respectively, typically to family members, friends, colleagues, or the broader public.[13][14][15] This process involves self-acceptance followed by communication to others, often framed as emerging from concealment, and is described in psychological literature as a key step toward identity integration for those identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender.[1] Empirical studies indicate that such disclosure correlates with improved mental health outcomes when met with acceptance, though it carries risks of rejection or stigma depending on the recipient's response.[8][1] Variations in coming out encompass differences in scope, sequence, and recipients. Selective disclosure—revealing identity to trusted individuals like peers before family—contrasts with comprehensive public announcements, with surveys showing many disclose to friends first, often in adolescence, before parents.[16] For sexual orientation, the process typically follows internal realization (e.g., same-sex attraction) and may involve iterative disclosures over time, whereas for gender identity, it often includes social transition elements like name or pronoun changes alongside orientation if applicable.[3][17] Meta-analyses of milestones reveal average self-awareness ages around 10-12 for gay/lesbian individuals and later for bisexuals, with disclosure timelines varying by cultural or religious context, where conservative environments delay or suppress the process.[3][18] The process is not uniformly linear or endpoint-oriented; research describes it as potentially cyclical, involving repeated disclosures in new relationships or settings, and influenced by intersectional factors such as ethnicity or socioeconomic status.[10] Outcomes differ empirically: positive reception fosters authenticity and reduced isolation, while negative responses can exacerbate mental health challenges, with studies noting higher variability for transgender individuals due to the added dimension of bodily dysphoria.[8][18]Origins of the Term
The phrase "coming out" in reference to homosexuality originated in the early twentieth century among gay men in urban centers like New York, adapting the heterosexual debutante tradition of young women being formally presented to high society as eligible for marriage and social integration.[19][20] In this gay subcultural context, it denoted an initiation or proud entry into homosexual society, often marked by participation in drag balls that parodied elite straight debutante events, emphasizing community belonging rather than concealment.[19] Historian George Chauncey documents this usage in the 1920s, noting its association with vibrant, visible gay social networks predating widespread stigma narratives of hiding.[20][21] One of the earliest printed references appears in a spring 1931 article in the Baltimore Afro-American, which described "the coming out of new debutantes into homosexual society" as a highlight of such events, underscoring the celebratory, public nature of the term at the time.[19] This usage contrasted with later interpretations, as pre-World War II gay life in sources like Chauncey's analysis of New York lacked references to a pervasive "closet" of secrecy; instead, it highlighted structured social introductions amid selective visibility.[19] The full expression "coming out of the closet" evolved in the mid-twentieth century, incorporating the "closet" as a metaphor for concealed personal identity due to societal pressures, with the combined phrase gaining traction by the 1960s amid post-war shifts in visibility from military service and the emerging gay liberation movement.[19][20] This addition reflected a transition from communal debut to individual disclosure, influenced by broader cultural analogies to hidden secrets, though Chauncey observes the "closet" imagery was absent in earlier gay vernacular.[20]Historical Context
Early Instances and Pre-Modern Examples
In pre-modern societies, same-sex attractions and gender nonconformity were typically manifested through behaviors, relationships, or cultural roles rather than through explicit public declarations of a personal identity, as the modern framework of fixed sexual orientation or gender identity had not yet been conceptualized. Historical records from ancient civilizations, such as Greece and Rome, document open pederastic relationships among elites or emperors engaging in same-sex marriages (e.g., Nero's union with Sporus in 67 AD), but these were often framed as acts of dominance or eccentricity rather than disclosures of an innate self. Similarly, in medieval Europe, prosecutions for sodomy under canon law reveal clandestine acts, but voluntary self-identification was exceptional and usually coerced during inquisitions, with no widespread tradition of "coming out" against prevailing religious prohibitions. One of the earliest verifiable instances of public self-disclosure akin to modern coming out occurred in 1867, when German writer and activist Karl Heinrich Ulrichs spoke openly at the Congress of German Jurists in Munich, identifying himself as an "Urning"—his term for individuals with an innate homosexual orientation—and defending such attractions as natural rather than pathological.[22] [23] Ulrichs, who had privately explored these ideas in pseudonymous writings since 1864, faced immediate heckling and legal risks but persisted in publishing under his real name, marking a pioneering shift toward viewing homosexuality as an inborn trait deserving legal recognition.[24] This event predates the 20th-century gay rights movement and reflects emerging sexological thought, though Ulrichs' views were rooted in personal experience rather than institutional support. For gender variance, pre-modern examples often involved religious or social roles, such as the galli priests of Cybele in ancient Anatolia (from the 3rd century BC), who voluntarily castrated themselves and adopted feminine attire as part of cult practices, effectively disclosing a transformed identity within a tolerated ritual context.[25] In the Roman Empire, accounts of Emperor Elagabalus (r. 218–222 AD) describe behaviors interpreted by some as gender nonconformity, including requests for surgical genital alteration and preferences for female dress and pronouns; however, primary sources like Cassius Dio and Herodian, written by hostile contemporaries, likely exaggerated these for political defamation amid the ruler's unpopular religious reforms, rendering modern transgender attributions anachronistic and speculative.[26] [27] Such cases highlight episodic expressions of nonconformity but lack the systematic identity affirmation seen in later eras, often conflated with eccentricity, divinity, or scandal rather than personal authenticity.20th Century Emergence
The practice of "coming out" in the context of homosexuality emerged within urban subcultures during the early 20th century, adapting the heterosexual debutante tradition of young women publicly entering high society to signify an individual's introduction into homosexual social circles.[5] By the 1930s, this usage appeared in media references to events like "pansy balls," where participants were described as "coming out" into homosexual society, reflecting a ritual of visibility limited to insular communities amid widespread legal prohibitions on same-sex activity.[5] In these settings, coming out typically denoted private acknowledgment of one's homosexual orientation to peers, often through coded language such as "gay" or references to "friends of Dorothy," rather than broad disclosure, due to risks of arrest, job loss, and social ostracism enforced by sodomy laws and cultural norms.[5][28] During the 1940s and early 1950s, the term evolved in gay slang to primarily describe an individual's first homosexual sexual experience or initial public presentation within the subculture, as homosexual networks expanded in cities like New York and Chicago despite post-World War II crackdowns such as the Lavender Scare, which led to the dismissal of thousands of suspected homosexuals from government positions.[29][30] Subcultural venues, including bars and private parties, facilitated selective disclosures that built community resilience, but openness remained confined to avoid entrapment by police or blackmail, with an estimated 50,000 arrests annually for homosexual acts in the U.S. by the 1950s.[31] The homophile movement of the 1950s marked a structured push toward limited visibility, with organizations like the Mattachine Society—founded in Los Angeles on November 11, 1950, by Harry Hay and others—encouraging members to "come out" within safe networks to foster mutual aid and challenge pathologizing views of homosexuality as a mental illness, as classified by the American Psychiatric Association until 1973.[5][32] Publications such as the society's journal promoted discreet self-identification as a step toward civil rights, influencing parallel groups like the Daughters of Bilitis (established 1955), though emphasis stayed on assimilationist strategies over confrontation, reflecting the era's 90% public disapproval of homosexuality per contemporaneous polls.[32][31] By the late 1950s and early 1960s, coming out began transitioning from purely subcultural ritual to a tentative tool for advocacy, as homophile activists distributed literature urging personal integrity through selective revelation, yet cautioned against premature exposure given ongoing raids on gatherings—such as the 1966 Compton's Cafeteria riot in San Francisco, an early act of resistance by drag queens and others.[5] This period's practices laid groundwork for broader disclosures but were constrained by empirical realities of persecution, including the 1950s Kinsey Reports estimating 10% of U.S. males with predominantly homosexual experiences, many living covertly to evade prosecution.[30]Post-1969 Developments
The Stonewall riots of June 28, 1969, catalyzed a surge in public declarations of homosexual identity, shifting from prior discreet assimilation strategies to overt activism that encouraged coming out as a form of resistance against discrimination.[33] This momentum produced the first anniversary marches in 1970, rebranded as Christopher Street Liberation Day in New York City, where participants openly affirmed their sexual orientation to thousands, establishing Pride events as venues for collective coming out.[30] Throughout the 1970s, gay liberation groups like the Gay Activists Alliance, formed in December 1969, promoted personal disclosure as essential to building political power, leading to expanded media coverage and localized support networks that normalized coming out within urban communities.[34] The 1980s AIDS epidemic, with the first U.S. cases reported in 1981 primarily among gay men, amplified visibility through crisis response but imposed dual effects: activists such as those in ACT UP publicly identified as gay to demand research funding and destigmatize the disease, while pervasive stigma deterred others from disclosure due to fears of ostracism or blame.[35][36] In 1988, activists Robert Eichberg and Jean O'Leary launched National Coming Out Day on October 11, commemorating the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, framing disclosure to family and friends as a strategic tool for fostering acceptance and community solidarity.[37][38] The 1990s and 2000s witnessed media breakthroughs, including Ellen DeGeneres's on-air coming out as lesbian on April 30, 1997, during her ABC sitcom episode "The Puppy Episode," which drew 42 million viewers and correlated with temporary spikes in public tolerance surveys.[39] Empirical data reveal a decline in coming-out ages across generations: those born before 1960 typically disclosed to family around age 26, while millennials (born 1981–1996) averaged age 19, and Generation Z (born after 1997) around 17, attributed in part to expanded online forums and institutional policies like anti-bullying measures in schools.[40] Recent Gallup polling from 2024 indicates LGBTQ-identifying adults now report first questioning their orientation at age 12 on average, down from age 15 for prior cohorts, alongside a rise in self-identification rates from 3.5% of U.S. adults in 2012 to 7.6% in 2023.[41] These trends coincide with legal decriminalization, such as the U.S. Supreme Court's 2003 Lawrence v. Texas ruling invalidating sodomy laws, reducing criminal risks tied to disclosure.[30]Identity and Psychological Dimensions
Models of LGBTQ Identity Formation
One prominent theoretical framework for understanding LGBTQ identity formation is Vivienne Cass's six-stage model of homosexual identity development, proposed in 1979. This model posits a sequential process beginning with identity confusion, where individuals experience discrepancy between their same-sex attractions and societal norms, leading to denial or anxiety; followed by identity comparison, involving feelings of alienation and exploration of possible homosexuality; identity tolerance, marked by selective disclosure and ambivalence; identity acceptance, with increased comfort and affiliation with LGBTQ communities; identity pride, emphasizing a strong homosexual identity often at the expense of heterosexual aspects; and culminating in identity synthesis, where homosexuality integrates as one facet of a cohesive self without dominating it.[42] Empirical testing of Cass's model has shown partial support in retrospective accounts from gay men and lesbians, with stages aligning to average progression times of 2-4 years per phase in some cohorts, though not all individuals follow the linear path strictly. Richard Troiden's four-stage model, outlined in 1989, offers a sociological perspective on homosexual identity formation, emphasizing social interactions over internal psychology. It includes sensitization, an early childhood phase of vague awareness of gender nonconformity without explicit sexual connotation; identity confusion, triggered by adolescent same-sex feelings and leading to stigmatization fears; identity assumption, involving experimentation, community contact, and self-labeling as homosexual; and commitment, where individuals stabilize their identity through relationships and lifestyle adoption, often by early adulthood.[43] Troiden's framework draws from life-history interviews with over 150 committed homosexuals, revealing common themes like gradual sensitization from age 6-10 and confusion peaking in teens, but it critiques earlier Freudian views by highlighting learned behaviors rather than innate pathology.[44] These stage models have influenced counseling and research, yet face empirical critiques for assuming universality and linearity, which overlook variability across cultures, ages, and identities like bisexuality. For instance, meta-analyses of milestones indicate average ages of first same-sex attraction at 10-12 years, self-identification at 15-17, and first disclosure at 18-20 among lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals, but with significant deviations; not all experience confusion or pride stages, and progression can regress or cycle.[3] Longitudinal data further challenge fixed-stage endpoints, documenting sexual identity fluidity: in a 12-year U.S. panel study of over 2,000 adults, 16% shifted identities (e.g., from bisexual to heterosexual), with higher rates among women and those initially identifying as non-straight, suggesting environmental, relational, and maturational factors influence stability rather than inevitable commitment.[45] Such findings imply that early models, derived from predominantly white, urban gay male samples in the 1970s-1980s, may pathologize fluidity as incomplete development, potentially biasing interventions toward premature labeling amid evidence of natural change in up to 10-20% of youth identities over time.[46][47]Transgender and Non-Binary Specifics
Coming out as transgender or non-binary generally involves disclosing an internal sense of gender incongruence with one's biological sex, often prompting requests for social accommodations such as preferred names, pronouns, clothing, or restroom usage aligned with the identified gender. Unlike disclosure of same-sex attraction, which primarily reveals private preferences without necessitating changes to others' behavior or language, transgender coming out frequently initiates a social transition that alters public presentation and interpersonal dynamics, sometimes extending to demands for institutional accommodations like policy revisions in schools or workplaces. This process can occur in stages, with initial private realization followed by selective disclosures to trusted individuals before broader public announcements, and it may intersect with subsequent revelations about sexual orientation, as some transgender individuals report shifts in attraction post-transition.[48][49] Empirical research on gender identity development highlights distinctions from sexual orientation models, emphasizing social feedback loops where external validation influences persistence of identification. A review posits that transgender identity formation often involves iterative management of dysphoria through affirmation, contrasting with the more innate, less malleable trajectory observed in sexual orientation stability studies. For non-binary individuals, who reject binary gender categories, coming out may entail emphasizing fluidity or agender states, potentially leading to greater ambiguity in social expectations and higher rates of identity revision over time. Longitudinal data from youth cohorts show that while initial social transitions correlate with temporary mood improvements, a subset experiences reversion; for instance, in a study of socially transitioned children, 7.3% reidentified with their birth sex after an average of five years.[50][51] Mental health outcomes following transgender or non-binary coming out reveal elevated risks compared to the general population, with transgender youth exhibiting 2-4 times higher odds of depression, suicidal ideation, and self-harm attempts even after disclosure and affirmation. Short-term studies link social support for coming out—such as family acceptance of pronouns or presentation changes—to reduced suicidality over 12 months, yet these findings derive from self-selected samples with high loss to follow-up, limiting generalizability. A systematic review of adult outcomes post-disclosure noted persistent depression in two-thirds of participants within the prior year, alongside ongoing anxiety and substance use issues, suggesting that coming out alone does not resolve underlying comorbidities like autism or trauma often comorbid with gender dysphoria. Critics of prevailing research paradigms, including analyses from evidence-based gender medicine groups, contend that methodological flaws—such as reliance on clinic attendees who proceed to medical interventions—underestimate detransition linked to premature coming out, with one survey indicating 13.1% lifetime detransition rates, 15.9% driven by internal doubts about gender incongruence rather than solely external pressures.[52][53][54] Detransition following coming out underscores vulnerabilities particular to gender identity disclosures, especially among adolescents, where social influences may amplify identification. In a U.S. survey of over 17,000 transgender adults, 82.5% of detransitioners cited external factors like familial rejection, but a notable minority referenced realization of misaligned identity or alleviation of dysphoria without transition, with rates potentially higher in youth due to developmental fluidity. Non-binary specifics include higher fluidity, with some studies reporting greater identity shifts compared to binary transgender counterparts, though comprehensive longitudinal tracking remains scarce amid institutional pressures favoring affirmation over watchful waiting. Overall, while some report enhanced well-being post-disclosure, aggregate data indicate no universal resolution of distress, with persistent disparities warranting caution in interpreting affirmative-leaning studies from environments prone to publication bias toward positive outcomes.[55][56]Empirical Mental Health Outcomes
A population-based study of sexual minority adults found that recently out men had substantially higher odds of depression (adjusted odds ratio [AOR] = 6.21, 95% CI: 1.53–24.47) and anxiety (AOR = 5.51, 95% CI: 1.51–20.13) compared to closeted men, with distantly out men also showing elevated depression risk (AOR = 2.91, 95% CI: 1.10–7.69).[57] Patterns varied by gender, as recently out women exhibited lower odds of depression relative to their closeted counterparts (AOR = 0.21, 95% CI: 0.05–0.96).[57] These findings suggest short-term mental health declines post-disclosure, potentially due to acute stressors like anticipated or experienced rejection, though limited to a California sample and subject to recall bias.[57] Rejection following disclosure strongly predicts adverse outcomes, particularly among youth. Longitudinal analyses link parental rejection of a child's sexual orientation to 8.4 times higher odds of suicide attempts and 5.9 times higher odds of depression in LGB young adults.[58] LGB youth who lost close friendships after coming out faced 27 times greater likelihood of recent suicide attempts compared to those retaining support.[59] Such interpersonal losses amplify minority stress, contributing to elevated suicidality, substance use, and illegal drug involvement.[60] For transgender and gender diverse (TGD) individuals, coming out often intersects with social transition, correlating with persistent mental health disparities. TGD youth report higher baseline depression and suicidality than LGB youth, with disclosure in unsupportive contexts exacerbating isolation and self-harm risks.[61] However, some longitudinal data indicate overall mental health improvements post-disclosure among both LGB and TGD youth, attributed to reduced concealment stress in accepting environments, though causal attribution remains confounded by selection effects (e.g., resilient individuals more likely to disclose).[62] Meta-analytic evidence underscores that while long-term outness in supportive settings may alleviate internalized stigma, initial disclosure phases carry heightened vulnerability, especially without protective factors like family acceptance.[63] These outcomes highlight context-dependency, with empirical risks concentrated in rejection scenarios rather than disclosure per se.[64]Risks, Regrets, and Criticisms
Potential Harms of Premature Disclosure
Premature disclosure of non-heterosexual orientation or gender incongruence, particularly among minors, can precipitate family rejection, with studies indicating that such rejection occurs in a substantial minority of cases. For instance, 14% of LGBTQ youth reported being kicked out or abandoned by parents or caregivers following disclosure, while 40% experienced serious family conflict prompting them to run away from home.[65] This rejection is a primary driver of homelessness among LGBTQ youth, who comprise up to 40% of the homeless youth population despite representing only 7-10% of youth overall, often resulting from conflicts over sexual orientation or gender identity disclosure.[66] Family rejection following early disclosure correlates strongly with adverse mental health outcomes. Longitudinal data from a prospective study of 245 LGBTQ young adults found that those experiencing high levels of family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to attempt suicide, 5.9 times more likely to report depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to engage in unprotected sexual intercourse compared to those from accepting families.[58] Similarly, rejected youth face elevated risks of psychological distress, substance abuse, and suicidality, with rejection acting as a mediator between disclosure and these harms.[67] Premature disclosure exacerbates these risks in unsupportive environments, as youth may lack the resources to cope independently, leading to isolation or reliance on potentially exploitative peer networks.[68] School-based disclosure among adolescents heightens vulnerability to peer victimization, including bullying and harassment. Research on high school coming out shows increased exposure to homophobic bullying, which correlates with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation independent of family support levels.[69] Early outness, defined as before age 13 in some cohorts, is linked to elevated suicide attempts unless buffered by strong familial acceptance, but even then, the baseline risk of rejection remains higher in polarized social contexts.[70] Inadvertent or forced premature disclosures, such as through outing by peers, can amplify these harms by denying youth control over timing and context, resulting in stigma, humiliation, and long-term relational damage.[71][8] Physical safety concerns also arise, as disclosure in hostile settings can invite violence or discrimination. Empirical reviews document that early self-disclosure among minors correlates with heightened interpersonal violence and minority stress, contributing to chronic health disparities like substance use disorders and HIV risk behaviors.[72] These outcomes underscore the causal role of premature disclosure in environments lacking safeguards, where the absence of assessed support networks transforms identity affirmation into a vector for tangible harm.[73]Detransition and Regret Data
A 2021 systematic review and meta-analysis of 27 studies involving 7,928 transgender individuals who underwent gender-affirming surgery reported regret rates of 1% (95% CI <1%–2%) for transfeminine procedures and <1% (95% CI <1%–<1%) for transmasculine procedures, with follow-up periods averaging 4.7 years but ranging from 0.8 to 45 years.[74] A 2024 meta-analysis of 15 studies similarly estimated a pooled regret prevalence of 1.94%, with 4.0% for transfeminine and 0.8% for transmasculine surgeries, though it noted heterogeneity due to varying definitions of regret and incomplete follow-up.[75] These figures contrast with regret rates for other elective surgeries, such as 5–14% for breast augmentation or reconstruction, suggesting gender-affirming surgery yields comparatively low dissatisfaction in clinic-based assessments.[76] Detransition rates, defined as discontinuation of gender-affirming treatments or reversion to birth-registered sex, show greater variability and are often conflated with regret but not identical. A 2024 systematic review of hormonal treatment seekers found point-prevalence proportions of 1–7.6% for puberty blocker discontinuation and 0.3–13.1% for gender-affirming hormone therapy (GAHT), with higher rates among adolescents and those with comorbidities like autism or trauma.[77] A 2023 qualitative metasummary of detransition experiences across 23 studies identified prevalence estimates fluctuating from <1% to >13%, attributing discrepancies to inconsistent case definitions, short-term tracking (often <5 years), and exclusion of non-clinic populations.[78] Reasons for detransition frequently include realization of alternative explanations for dysphoria (e.g., unresolved trauma or internalized homophobia), social pressures, or inadequate pre-treatment psychological evaluation, rather than external discrimination alone.[79] Methodological limitations undermine confidence in low reported rates, including loss to follow-up exceeding 20–60% in many cohorts—potentially biasing results toward satisfied patients who remain engaged with affirming clinics—and failure to account for delayed regret, which can emerge years post-treatment.[56] The 2024 Cass Review, commissioned by England's NHS, critiqued the evidence base for youth gender services as low-quality, with emergent detransition data hampered by non-cooperation from adult clinics and average detransition timelines of 7 years in audited cases, implying undercounting in early assessments.[80] Systemic factors, such as ideological pressures in gender clinics to minimize negative outcomes, contribute to underreporting, as evidenced by whistleblower accounts from facilities like the UK's Tavistock clinic, where referral surges (from 97 in 2009 to 2,590 in 2018) preceded rising detransition referrals but sparse long-term tracking.[56] Independent surveys of detransitioners, such as a 2021 study of 100 participants (mean age 26, 82.8% female at transition onset), reported 15.9% citing internal realization of non-trans identity as primary, underscoring the role of co-occurring mental health issues in misattributed dysphoria.[81] Long-term outcome studies reinforce outcome instability: A 2011 Swedish cohort analysis of 324 post-surgical patients followed 10+ years showed persistent elevated suicide rates (19.1 times higher than controls) and psychiatric hospitalizations, with no subgroup achieving normative mental health, indirectly signaling unresolved regret or dissatisfaction not captured in satisfaction surveys.[82] Recent trends indicate rising detransition visibility, with U.S. and U.K. support groups reporting hundreds of cases annually, often among young females who transitioned amid peer influences or online communities, though population-level rates remain unquantified due to absent registries.[79] These data highlight the need for rigorous, unbiased longitudinal research to discern true prevalence, particularly given academia's historical underemphasis on negative outcomes amid advocacy-driven paradigms.[56]Social Contagion and Youth Vulnerabilities
Research indicates a marked increase in youth identifying as transgender or non-binary, with U.S. surveys estimating 3.3% of individuals aged 13-17 identifying as transgender in 2022, representing about 300,000 youth, a figure substantially higher than prior adult rates.[83] This rise coincides with expanded access to social media and peer networks, prompting hypotheses of social contagion in gender identity formation, particularly for those without prior childhood indicators of dysphoria.[84] The concept of rapid-onset gender dysphoria (ROGD), introduced in a 2018 study based on parent surveys, describes cases where gender dysphoria emerges abruptly in adolescence or young adulthood, often amid peer group identifications and online influences, with 62.5% of reported cases involving social contagion via friends or social media.[85] Subsequent analyses of over 1,600 parent reports corroborated clusters of ROGD in friend groups and schools, with affected youth showing higher rates of pre-existing mental health issues and increased social media immersion.[86] The UK's Cass Review (2024), an independent evaluation of youth gender services, highlighted social influences—including peer reinforcement and heavy social media use (noted in 43% of girls spending over three hours daily)—as factors in the exponential referral surge to gender clinics, from 50 annually in 2009 to over 5,000 by 2018-2019, urging caution against uncritical affirmation of sudden identities.[87][80] Youth vulnerabilities amplify susceptibility to such dynamics, with elevated comorbidities including autism spectrum disorder (ASD), reported in up to 11-20% of transgender youth versus 1-2% in the general population, alongside ADHD and trauma histories that may impair social cue discernment and identity stability.[88][89] Autistic LGBTQ+ youth exhibit over 50% higher odds of suicide attempts, potentially exacerbated by peer-driven identity shifts misinterpreted as innate.[90] Mental health challenges like depression and anxiety, prevalent in 60-70% of gender-dysphoric youth, further correlate with ROGD-like presentations, where social affirmation may reinforce transient distress rather than resolve underlying issues.[91] In coming out contexts, these factors risk premature disclosures influenced by group dynamics, as evidenced by parent accounts of synchronized "coming out" in adolescent circles, potentially leading to escalated interventions without longitudinal evidence of persistence.[85][86]Social and Familial Impacts
Family and Peer Responses
Family responses to a child's disclosure of non-heterosexual orientation or gender identity vary widely, with empirical studies indicating roughly one-third of sexual minority youth experiencing parental acceptance, another third facing rejection, and the remainder encountering ambivalence or mixed reactions.[63] Rejection often manifests as verbal disapproval, physical discipline, or expulsion from the home, particularly in families with religious or conservative values, while acceptance correlates with prior family connectedness and lower religiosity.[92] Longitudinal data show that initial negative reactions can evolve toward greater support over time, especially among younger parental cohorts, though persistent rejection elevates risks of youth homelessness and mental health issues.[18] For transgender youth, rejection rates tend to exceed those for sexual orientation disclosures, with studies linking parental non-affirmation of gender identity to higher family conflict and youth instability. In scenarios involving disclosure of a same-sex relationship with a significant age difference, such as a lesbian partnership with a much older partner, practical strategies emphasize thorough preparation, including reflection on personal feelings, anticipation of parental reactions, and identification of support networks like friends, LGBTQ communities, or mental health professionals. Selecting a calm time and private setting for the discussion facilitates openness. Honesty is key: disclosing one's lesbian orientation first, followed by introducing the partner and addressing the age gap directly. Articulating the relationship's health—through mutual love, respect, consent, absence of manipulation, and both parties' adulthood—helps counter concerns. Objections regarding age can be addressed by underscoring the discloser's independence, maturity of the partnership, and relational stability. In restrictive sociocultural or legal environments, such as Russia, prioritizing personal safety with contingency plans for support is essential. Alternatives like initiating via letter or phased conversations suit those apprehensive about in-person dialogue. Disclosure should not be rushed if unprepared for potential negativity. Peer responses frequently involve heightened adversity, as evidenced by surveys reporting that 49% of LGBTQ high school students and 65% of middle school students experience bullying following disclosure, with transgender and nonbinary youth facing rates up to 61%.[93] Verbal harassment affects approximately 68.7% of LGBTQ youth in school settings, alongside 44.9% encountering cyberbullying, often tied to visible gender nonconformity or public coming out.[94] Sexual minority adolescent girls report 50% higher bullying victimization than heterosexual peers, while supportive peer networks—such as those in affirming school environments—mitigate these effects by fostering belonging and reducing isolation.[95] Schools implementing targeted anti-bullying strategies for LGBTQ students show lower victimization rates and improved perceptions of safety, though national data reveal inconsistent peer acceptance, with discrimination persisting in non-inclusive climates.[96] Factors influencing both family and peer dynamics include socioeconomic status, geographic location, and cultural norms; for instance, urban, educated families exhibit higher acceptance than rural or religious ones, while peer rejection amplifies in environments lacking policy protections against orientation-based harassment.[97] Over time, broader societal shifts toward tolerance have increased average acceptance levels, with 79% of sexual minority youth disclosing to at least one parent and two-thirds reporting eventual family support, though advocacy-influenced surveys may overestimate positivity by sampling self-selected respondents.[63] These responses underscore the causal role of pre-disclosure family cohesion in buffering negative outcomes, as rejecting behaviors often stem from parental grief over unmet expectations rather than inherent hostility.[98]Long-Term Relational Consequences
Longitudinal research indicates that coming out as LGBTQ can result in sustained family estrangement for a substantial minority of individuals. A 2023 survey of LGBTQ+ young adults in the UK found that 46% were no longer in contact with at least one family member, often stemming from initial rejection following disclosure.[99] Similarly, a U.S. study reported that nearly half of LGBTQ+ adults under 30 experienced estrangement from at least one relative, with one-third lacking confidence in parental support post-coming out.[100] Empirical data from parent-adult child relationship analyses show estrangement rates of 19% for gay/lesbian adult children and 25% for bisexual ones lacking ongoing ties with their fathers, compared to lower general population rates.[101] In mixed-orientation marriages, where one spouse discloses same-sex attraction, relational dissolution is common long-term. Research estimates that one-third of such marriages end immediately upon revelation, with broader impacts including identity crises for the heterosexual partner and concerns over child welfare persisting for years.[102] Spouses often face sexual rejection and challenges to the marital foundation, leading to prolonged emotional strain even if reconciliation attempts occur.[103] For parents reflecting over 15 years post-disclosure, interviews reveal ongoing obstacles like unresolved grief and altered family dynamics, though some achieve partial generativity and balance through adapted relationships.[104] Peer and sibling relationships may also experience lasting shifts, with disclosures after years of perceived heterosexuality affecting siblings and friends through secondary stigma or reevaluation of shared history.[105] Negative initial family reactions correlate with poorer long-term psychosocial adjustment, potentially extending to reduced relational trust in non-familial bonds.[106] However, quantitative longitudinal data suggest that mental health symptoms tied to relational fallout, such as anxiety from rejection, often attenuate over time if support networks form elsewhere, though full relational restoration remains variable.[107] Despite potential for maintained ties via strategies like selective disclosure or boundary-setting, rejecting family environments contribute to higher overall estrangement prevalence among LGBTQ individuals relative to the general population's 27% rate for any familial cutoff.[108][109]Legal and Cultural Frameworks
Legal Ramifications by Jurisdiction
In jurisdictions where same-sex sexual activity remains criminalized, public disclosure of LGBTQ+ identity through coming out can invite legal scrutiny, arrest, and prosecution under statutes prohibiting "sodomy," "gross indecency," or related offenses, as such statements may be interpreted as admissions or evidence of prohibited conduct. As of February 2025, 65 countries enforce such criminalization, with penalties escalating from fines and imprisonment to corporal punishment or execution in severe cases.[110][111] Enforcement often intensifies following public declarations, particularly in regions with active surveillance of social media or community reports. Middle East and Islamic StatesIn Iran, same-sex intercourse carries a mandatory death penalty under Islamic penal codes, with methods including hanging; documented executions occurred as recently as February 2022 for two men convicted of sodomy. Public coming out or related activism has led to capital convictions, such as the September 2022 death sentences for two women charged with "corruption on earth" after attempting to flee for LGBTQ+ asylum advocacy.[112][113][114] Saudi Arabia imposes death for homosexuality under Sharia-derived hudud punishments, with at least four executions reported between 2019 and 2023; disclosure risks vigilante or state action, as identity alone can trigger investigations.[115] Yemen and the United Arab Emirates similarly prescribe death, though application varies by interpretation of apostasy or zina (unlawful sex) laws, with public statements amplifying vulnerability to fatwas or trials.[116]
| Jurisdiction | Maximum Penalty for Same-Sex Acts | Notable Enforcement Post-Disclosure |
|---|---|---|
| Iran | Death (hanging/stoning) | Executions and activist death sentences[112][114] |
| Saudi Arabia | Death (beheading) | Reported executions; surveillance of online coming out[115] |
| Yemen | Death (stoning) | Tribal and state prosecutions triggered by admissions[116] |
Thirty African nations criminalize homosexuality, with northern Nigeria applying death under Sharia in 12 states; public coming out has prompted mob violence and arrests, as in 2023 cases where social media posts led to blasphemy-adjacent charges. Uganda's 2023 Anti-Homosexuality Act imposes life imprisonment or death for "aggravated homosexuality," explicitly targeting promotion or identity affirmation, resulting in heightened raids post-disclosure.[111][117] Russia and Eastern Europe
Russia's Federal Law No. 135-FZ (2013, expanded 2022) bans "LGBT propaganda" equating non-traditional relations to normalcy, penalizing public disclosures with fines of 50,000–400,000 rubles (about $500–$4,000 USD) for individuals, plus up to 15 days' administrative detention; violations surged after 2022, with courts fining entities and citizens for online statements akin to coming out.[118][119] Western Jurisdictions
In the United States, Europe, and comparable democracies, coming out incurs no criminal liability, bolstered by rulings like Bostock v. Clayton County (2020) prohibiting orientation-based discrimination. However, in family courts, disclosure during divorce can indirectly affect child custody if the opposing parent claims it endangers the child's welfare, though statutes mandate evaluation of parental fitness over orientation alone; empirical reviews show bias persists in some rural or conservative venues, with LGBTQ+ parents awarded custody in 70–80% of contested cases post-2015 but facing higher scrutiny.[120][121]